Broken Road
by Kristen Elizabeth
Summary: The way is rough, the path is untread, but at the end of the journey is the sweetest reward of all.
1. Broken Road

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. At this point, I'm not entirely sure who does. I could look it up I suppose, but it's almost three in the morning and I can't be arsed to do it at this point. Just know that I take no credit for the characters in this story.   
  
Author's Notes: The song belongs to Melodie Crittenden. Not that this is a song fic, just a story that was inspired by the song, formed in my brain and wouldn't go away until it had worked its will.   
  
Dedication: To Liz-chan and Ogre-san for getting me hooked on Gundam Wing. I suppose it's payback for Rurouni Kenshin....   
  
********  
  
Broken Road  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
********  
  
Earth  
After Colony 201  
  
She sat in front of her dressing table's mirror, a silver comb in her hand. But she had no will to run it through her wet, tangled hair. And even if she had possessed the will, she lacked the energy it would take. So the comb sat, cold and heavy in her hand, poised but unmoving as she stared at her reflection in the glass.   
  
Blue eyes looked back at her, glazed and vacant. Her skin was deathly pale; one could almost see the blue veins running just under the translucent surface. Not that anyone but her was looking, she told herself. The shower she had just taken had turned her normally dark blonde hair brown; it hung down to her back in an unrecognizable heap. Rivulets of water flowed from the ends only to be quickly absorbed by the thick, terrycloth towel around her middle.   
  
Beneath the towel, she knew, was a decent body, perhaps a bit small. Too many years of too much worry and work had left her bordering on skinny; if she put a hand to her side, she knew she would be able to clearly feel her ribs. Her breasts were nothing to photograph although pert and rosy. The corner of her lips turned up wryly. Unappreciated. They were unappreciated...her entire body was unappreciated.   
  
The look that could have almost passed for a smile fell quickly. What did she have to smile about? Smiles were reserved for times of prosperity and peace. Her world was neither prosperous nor peaceful. Everyone knew that, but as a monarch and politician, she felt it more than anyone else could.   
  
But for once, the flighty peace that she tried so hard to grasp onto was secondary in her thoughts. Today was not the day for it.   
  
He deserved her attention today, entirely and unwavering. And he would get it.   
  
*********  
  
An hour later, Relena Peacecraft, former Queen of the World, current Vice Minister of Foriegn Affairs, stepped out of her room and into the main hallway of her family's manor. She wanted to slam the door shut, to hear the satsifying crack of wood against wood, splintering and breaking. Instead, she gently closed it behind her. She sighed in self-disgust; she couldn't even bring herself to commit an act of violence that insignificant.   
  
"Relena."   
  
Her head turned although she recognized the voice immediately. The petite figure of Quatre Raberba Winner approached her, presumably from his own room down the hall. She had invited the former Gundam pilots and their respective partners to stay in the manor during this time. All but two... Only Quatre and Trowa Barton had accepted, however.   
  
The blond haired man stopped a few feet away from her. "Were you planning to leave this early?", he asked quietly.   
  
She shook her head. "No. I just woke up and couldn't fall back asleep."   
  
Quatre nodded. "The same thing happened to me. I figured I might as well get a start on the day." He looked down at the floor. "Some things are just better to get over with as quickly as possible."   
  
"And some aren't", Relena heard herself reply. Blinking, she snapped herself out of the melancholy moment. "Is Trowa still asleep?"   
  
The faint pink of a blush colored Quatre's cheeks. "Like a baby. I envy him."   
  
Relena swallowed. "Well, it's been a hard couple of days. For everyone."   
  
"I have a feeling that it's going to get harder before it gets easier."   
  
"What do you mean?" He hesitated at her words. "Quatre...whatever it is, I can handle it."   
  
Still hesitating, he reached into his breast pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "I recieved this the day after..." He swallowed. "The day after we found out. Trowa got one too." Relena's hand shook as she reached for the paper. "I don't want you to overreact, Relena. It might mean nothing."   
  
"But you don't really think that, do you? Or you would have told me right away." She looked at the paper, took a deep breath and unfolded it. After a long moment, she looked back up. Hot tears gathered in the corners of her eyes. "Who sent this?", she whispered.   
  
Quatre gently took the paper from her trembling hands. "Obviously the same people who...you know. But if Trowa and I each got one, then it stands to reason the others did too. And you know that at least one of us will find out exactly who's behind it. And probably make them wish they hadn't." He slipped it back into his pocket.   
  
"How could they...." Her head swayed from side to side, unbelievingly. "What possible satisfaction could they get from sending...that to you?"   
  
"Don't ask, Relena." His hand found hers and squeezed lightly. "You wouldn't be able to bear knowing the answer."   
  
He was right. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes. "I keep telling myself that this is all a dream."   
  
"And if you just pinch yourself, you'll wake up?" Quatre smiled ruefully. "Trowa said the same thing."   
  
"He can't really be dead", Relena's eyes opened. "Can he?"   
  
"Duo lived his life in the fast lane, Relena. Can you imagine him dying any other way?"   
  
She was quiet for a minute. "No. I can't." She stopped herself before she could go on. Quatre didn't need to feel the weight of her guilt. She was sure he had enough of his own to bear. It was visible in his eyes.   
  
"I know that Wufei is coming, somewhat reluctantly according to Sally." Her mood lifted momentarily at the thought of the couple. It didn't last. "But Quatre, do you think that...."  
  
He stopped her before she could finish her question. He didn't need to hear the rest of it; he had known what she was going to ask before she even opened her mouth. "I don't know. I want to think he'll be there. But I just don't know. It's not like we've kept in touch."   
  
"I wanted him to go with Duo...to L5. I didn't want Duo to go alone..." She looked up at the molded ceiling, blinking back new tears. "But I didn't know where he was. I *don't* know where he is. Duo said he would be fine by himself... I agreed, Quatre. I agreed! And now...he's...he's...." Her head dropped into her hands.   
  
Quatre watched her fight a losing battle with her grief and guilt. He stepped forward and wrapped her up in his arms. She leaned into his chest, but didn't return the embrace. She wasn't crying; her shoulders and her breath remained steady and even. Still, Quatre held on. After several minutes of silent soothing, he pulled back.   
  
"Thank you", she whispered. "I needed that."   
  
He accepted her thanks with a nod of his blond head. A single, sad thought came to him. *It wasn't me you needed that from.*   
  
Relena seemed oblivious to the troubled expression on his face as she pulled a handkerchief from her suit pocket. The white square of linen and lace stood out prominently against the black silk of the formal skirt and jacket she wore. Delicately, she dabbed at her eyes. "Are you hungry?", she asked him. "I'm sure breakfast is almost ready."   
  
He swallowed before nodding. "Let me just go get Trowa. We'll be downstairs in a little while." She indicated her agreement and continued on her way down the hall.   
  
Quatre watched her until she turned the corner and disappeared from his sight. A strange weight had settled onto his heart, pressing it painfully. He recognized the ache; his heart hurt for his friend. She was so very alone.   
  
He let himself into the room he was sharing with Trowa carefully in case his lover was still asleep. Fortunately, Trowa was awake. He sat on the edge of the bed, his chin propped up in his hands. The long bangs of his dark hair fell over his forehead. As Quatre shut the door behind him, he looked up. His eyes, Quatre noted, were bloodshot.   
  
"Where did you go?", Trowa asked with no trace of annoyance in his voice.   
  
Quatre sat next to him. "Just walking. I couldn't sleep." He paused. "I saw Relena in the hallway."   
  
There was a brief flicker of sympathy across Trowa's stoic face. "Still blaming herself?"   
  
"She's hell-bent on it. I think she thinks the uprising on L5 is entirely her fault. She thinks..." Quatre hesitated once more. "She thinks that if Heero had been with Duo, he wouldn't have died."   
  
"Maybe he wouldn't have."   
  
"Trowa."   
  
The taller man held up one hand. "Duo never should have gone by himself. He should have made one of us come with him."   
  
Quatre sighed. "Even if one of us could have gotten ahold of an old mobile suit in time, who's to say we wouldn't have been shot down, too? No one, not Duo and especially not Relena, could have known just how unstable L5 was." He rested his chin on Trowa's bare shoulder. "Is."   
  
"Did you show her the...?" He felt Quatre nod. "I'm not sure she should have had to see that."   
  
Quatre sat up straight. "She's not a child, Trowa. None of us are anymore. And it's possible, that out of all of us, Relena's seen the most death. She takes all the guilt for it onto herself, at least. I couldn't keep it from her."   
  
Trowa nodded his agreement. With a small sigh, he stood. "What time is the funeral again?"   
  
"Ten", Quatre replied, looking down at his hands. "Ten..."   
  
If Trowa heard him, he didn't acknowledge it as he made his way to the bathroom, leaving Quatre alone on the bed.   
  
*********  
  
Breakfast had dragged on and on. Relena wanted to scream as she waited for the servant to clear away her plate. Her still-full plate, Quatre noticed. Was it just her grief or was his friend not eating? Finally though, the meal ended, not a moment too soon for Relena. She made a motion to leave, but from the head of the table, her brother cleared his throat.   
  
"Relena?" Milliardo Peacecraft set his fork down and looked at his younger sister. "Where are you going?"   
  
She bit the inside of her cheek. "I need some...fresh air."   
  
"We're all riding to the cemetery together, you know", he replied. "Perhaps it would be best if no one wandered off."   
  
His wife came to Relena's rescue. From the other end of the table, Lucrezia Noin spoke up. "Would you like me to go with you, Relena?"   
  
Sighing, Relena gave in. There was no way Milliardo would let her outside without protection, not in the middle of a colony uprising. The two women stood and excused themselves from the table, exiting the manor through a large set of French doors.   
  
Once in the garden, Relena let out a pent up sigh. She sank down onto a stone bench, staring at the reflection pond. Noin said nothing. Just let her be.   
  
********  
  
The drive to the cemetery was silent. Wedged in the limousine between Quatre and Trowa, Relena felt a strange sort of security. But still, she couldn't let her mind relax. Was this what pacifism brought? A trip to a friend's funeral?   
  
The limo stopped at its destination, depositing its passengers in front of the iron gates that led into the cemetery. People were already there. Reporters, TV crews. Relena bit back the desire to snap at them, especially when they saw her and came running.   
  
*How do you feel about Mr. Maxwell's death, Miss Relena?*  
  
*Do you think the death of a former Gundam pilot will increase the possibility of another full-fledged war?*  
  
*Vice Minister...do you blame yourself for Duo Maxwell's death?*  
  
Milliardo put his arm around his sister and guided her into the cemetery. The iron gates swung closed, leaving the reporters behind. "Don't worry, Relena. They won't be coming in during the service."   
  
For once, she was grateful for the overprotectivness of her older brother. She let him lead her down the grassy hill to the spot chosen for Duo's burial. "It's lovely here", she said out loud. The first words she had spoken since breakfast.   
  
Milliardo nodded. "It's not a burial pod in space, but I think Duo would have liked it."   
  
Behind the siblings, a slight scowl appeared on Trowa's lips. "How would you have known what Duo would have liked?", he muttered. Quatre's hand settled on his wrist, quieting him.   
  
At the gravesite, Relena could see the familiar figure of Chang Wufei. He looked exactly as he had when she had last seen him three years earlier. His black hair was pulled into his customary tight ponytail; his arms folded across the front of his Preventers uniform. At his side was Sally Po. A very pregnant Sally Po. If she could have, Relena would have smiled.   
  
She wanted to talk to them, but just then the hearse appeared at the iron gates. Catching Sally's eye and nodding in greeting, Relena moved to the seats that had been reserved for them. She took a chair between Noin and Quatre.   
  
As soon as she sat down, she felt him.   
  
The tiny hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Twisting her body, she scanned the half-filled rows of chairs behind them. It would be nearly impossible for him to hide from her in such a sparse crowd. If he was there, she would find him. Her gaze fell on many familiar faces including, to her slight surprise, Lady Une. But after minutes of careful searching, she failed to spot *his* familiar face. *Heero*, her mind cried out to him as though he could hear her. *Why are you trying to hide from me? Why are you making me go through this all alone?*   
  
Quatre glanced over at her. "Relena? What's wrong?"   
  
She twisted back around. "Nothing. I just thought I..." She stopped. "Nothing."   
  
"I feel him too", Quatre said quietly. "If he wants to be seen, he'll show himself. If not....well, there's no point in even looking."   
  
Trowa approached their chairs. "I just spoke to the minister. He's asked us to help carry the casket, Quatre."   
  
The blond man nodded and stood. "Let's get Wufei." Before he left, he gave Relena's shoulder a comforting squeeze. "Don't think about him, Relena."   
  
She closed her eyes when they were gone. He might as well have asked her to stop breathing.  
  
********  
  
He watched her. It was all he could do. She sat in the front row next to her sister-in-law, an empty chair on her other side. For a split second, he regretted coming at all. Funerals were a time for emotion. And emotions were not his specialty. But something had compelled him to come and something compelled him to stay. He had the sinking suspicion the something was the girl in the front row.   
  
The casket was being carried down to the open grave. Three men he knew well carried it, aided by three men he didn't recognize. Perhaps Duo's friends from his colony. Or members of Hilde's family...did she have any? He wasn't sure. Hilde. She walked behind the casket with uncharacteristic sorrow. It looked as though her knees might give out at any moment.   
  
A tiny part of him that he almost refused to acknowledge wanted to be down there, helping to carry his old friend to his final resting place. A tiny part of him also thought that maybe it should be him being carried to his final resting place.   
  
********  
  
The ceremony was as nice as anything of the sort could be. The minister read the required passages from the Christian Bible. Quatre delivered the eulogy at Hilde's request. He spoke of lost peace, lost friends...yet, in true Quatre style, the speech was like a beam of hope. Relena wanted to believe in his words, to buy into that hope. But she was 21 years old and had spent the past six years of her life struggling for peace, attaining it for one sweet moment only to watch it be ripped away again. Was there any hope left in her?  
  
After Quatre returned to his place next to her, the minister spoke a little bit longer, praising Duo Maxwell. Such a strong man. Dedicated. Loyal. Faithful.   
  
The man hiding in the shadows gave a soft snort. All those things had been true of Duo, of course. But there was something missing...from the entire ceremony, as a matter of fact. It was so stiff and formal. Duo would have hated that. Someone needed to jump up to the podium and speak of the real Duo Maxwell. The braided jokester, the American baka. The skilled fighter, the pilot of Deathscythe. His best friend, unquestionably.   
  
No one did. Were they too steeped in grief to let the good memories come out? Or did they honestly believe they were doing their fallen friend justice with this painfully melancholy funeral? Whatever it was, he hated it.   
  
But somehow he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it.  
  
********  
  
When it was all over, Relena watched as the people around her all stood to leave. She wanted to yell at them to sit down, stay awhile....remember Duo Maxwell together, in a better way than this. They couldn't just leave him to be laid into the ground alone. She remained seated and silent.   
  
Hilde went to the casket that held her husband's body. She ran a hand over the mahoghany surface reverantly. After a long moment, she turned and began to make her way up the hill. Her gaze caught Relena's briefly. A million words were exchanged in the look though neither woman said a word. A whisper of a smile played on Hilde's lips and Relena returned it. Duo's widow broke the look and continued on her way, leaving Relena to stare at the casket once more.   
  
She felt a hand on her shoulder. Quatre. "Are you coming?", he asked.   
  
"I want to stay for awhile." She looked up into her friend's sea-colored eyes. "Please...tell Milliardo to let me. I need to talk to him."   
  
Quatre smiled sadly. "Which 'him'?"   
  
Relena blinked rapidly. "Please?"   
  
"All right." Quatre gave in. "Be careful, Relena. And I'm not just talking about security here."   
  
She nodded. "Thank you."   
  
When she was sure he was gone, she slowly stood. Everyone was at the top of the hill, offering words of condolance to Hilde, exchanging pleasantries, perhaps even catching up with old friends. She knew she should be up there, but this was far more important than any duty her position carried. Taking a deep breath, she approached the casket.   
  
She was quiet for a minute. "Duo", she finally said. "Oh...Duo. You American baka." The first real smile in a very long time spread across her face. She could almost see him if she closed her eyes. Long braid tossed over one shoulder of his black clerical shirt, black cap in place on his head, winking one violet eye at her. The smile lost some of its momentum. "Why did you have to leave us? Why did I let you leave us?"   
  
"You know what he would say to that." The voice that spoke to her was completely unmistakable. Her mind knew it should be suprised to hear him, shocked that he would approach her after all this time. But her heart had known all along that one day he would. Of course, she had never thought it would be here. Not like this...  
  
"What would he say to that?", she replied. The words caught in her throat.   
  
He stopped at her side, but neither one looked at the other. "He'd tell you to give yourself a break. Guilt bites and doesn't do a damn thing. Blame yourself until the day you die, he'll still be just as dead."   
  
Relena's eyes dropped to the grass below their feet. "And what about you? Is any of that anything you would say?"   
  
She thought she felt him shrug in indifference. "Doesn't matter what I would say. I'm not the one in the casket."   
  
"I see." Her head lifted, eyes settled on a spot in the distance, past Duo's casket. "Tell me something Heero...are you even upset? Does it even bother you that we're here? That he's dead?"   
  
His head turned; sky colored eyes bored into her cheek. She refused to turn her head to acknowledge the stare. "What do you think?", he asked as infuriatingly apathetic as always.   
  
It was her turn to shrug. "Doesn't matter what I think. I'm not the one in the casket." Stepping forward, Relena bent at the waist and dropped a soft kiss onto the glossy wood. "Goodbye, Duo", she whispered. She straightened up and turned around. Still, her eyes failed to meet his. "Goodbye, Heero."   
  
He didn't blink for a full a minute after she left his side. She was completely in his head, from her perfume to her words. The woman he had just talked to wasn't the woman he remembered from four years ago. The time had changed her. Not just physically, but emotionally. Maybe in her heart she was still the same Relena. But there was a harder quality to her now. It was as though the death of Duo had killed a little part of her.   
  
More than anything in the world, he wanted to bring it back to life.   
  
He looked at the casket. "What would you do, old friend?" A breeze ruffled the dark bangs of hair on his forehead. "That's what I thought." Touching his hand to the spot where Relena's lips had been, he bowed slightly. "Sayonara, Duo. Sosite...arigatou gozaimasita."   
  
Heero Yuy was a man on a mission.  
  
********  
  
Upon returning to the manor, Relena headed straight to her room, locking the door behind her. She could hear Quatre in the hall calmly calling her name, but she ignored him. She would apologize to him later. Right then, she didn't want to talk to anyone. After a few minutes, Quatre stopped. She listened to his footsteps as he walked away.   
  
There were so many objects in the room that she wanted to throw. Anger, guilt, resentment....they were all boiling up inside of her, ready to explode. A lifetime of repressed emotion. All she did, however, was kick her shoes off and throw herself onto her bed. Hugging her pillow under her head, she lay still for a long time. On her nightstand, directly in the path of her blank stare, sat a small, slightly worn teddy bear. A gift from what seemed like a lifetime ago. His gift to her.   
  
She closed her eyes as a single tear escaped her eye and ran down her nose, dropping onto the pillow a second later. There were so many more where that came from. If only she could make them all come out at once, maybe some of the turmoil inside would settle down. She needed to cry for Duo. She couldn't.   
  
Sleep descended upon her without warning. It was no surprise, however; she had barely closed her eyes since recieving the horrible news that the mobile suit Duo had used to fly to L5 had been shot down by the revolutionaries. The last image that flashed through her brain before the sweet oblivion of sleep took over was of Duo climbing into the mobile suit on that day.   
  
*It's not my Deathscythe, but it still feels damn good to be back in one of these.*   
  
His laughter would haunt her dreams.  
  
*********  
  
She was asleep when he slipped into her room from her wide balcony. He had no problem getting in; the French doors were unlocked. Was she so selfless that she couldn't even lock the doors that seperated her from the dangers of the outside world? It angered him that she could care so little about her life. Didn't she know that she was the key to lasting peace? If anything ever happened to her...  
  
He shook his head violently. Nothing was going to happen to her. Not so long as he was alive.   
  
Heero approached her bed. She lay on her stomach, head tilted to the left, clutching onto her pillow with one hand. Her breath was even and deep; her face would have been tranquil if not for the tearstain running down one cheek and the twitch in her eyebrow every few seconds. She was dreaming. They couldn't be pleasant dreams.   
  
Her hair had grown since he last seen her. It spread across the black of her formal dress suit like long tongues of spun gold, reaching down to the small of her back. Black was slimming, but it wasn't the color that made her body look so fragile. He suspected she wasn't taking as good care of herself as she should be. It made him angry.   
  
Everything about her was perfection personified. Maybe that was why he had left. She frightened him. That made him angry, too.   
  
Relena's dark eyelashes fluttered. He held his breath. He wasn't sure if he wanted to wake her. For the first time in his life, he had no plan. Nothing about this situation was familiar to him; he had no idea how to proceed.   
  
And that made him more angry than anything.   
  
"Heero...", she murmured. He felt the blood drain from his face. Was the bad dream she was having about him? "Heero...why are you here?"   
  
His tongue was frozen. Fighting to regain his composure, he sat on the edge of the bed. "To talk to you."  
  
Relena's eyes slowly opened revealing the crystal blue that he had missed and never realized before that moment. "How did you...?"   
  
"Balcony."   
  
She closed her eyes again; he thought he could see her smile. "I have a door, you know."   
  
"I have no intention of dying at the hands of your brother."   
  
This time he was sure she smiled. "If you didn't come in..." She became aware of the darkness all around them. "...the middle of the night that wouldn't be a problem. Normal people visit during the day, Heero." He was quiet. "Of course, the last thing I would ever call you is 'normal'."   
  
Heero stood up. "I'll go then."   
  
He heard her sigh behind him. "That's right." Sheets rustled. "Leave. It's what you do best, after all. Who'll have to die before I'll see you again? Trowa? Quatre?" Her voice was brittle. "Or maybe you'll be the one in the casket the next time I see you."   
  
"Maybe." The indifference returned. "Goodbye, Relena."   
  
Something soft smacked into the back of his head. There was tremendous force behind the blow, however. He spun around and looked down onto the floor. An all too familiar teddy bear lay at his feet, its furry arms reaching up to him. His gaze rose to the bed. Relena sat on her hands and knees, chest heaving with emotion and spent energy. Her eyes flashed.   
  
"You hit me", was all he could think to say as he reached his hand around to rub his head.   
  
"You're damn right I hit you", she hissed. "Do you think you get to just walk right out of here like that?"   
  
He blinked. "Are you telling me you want me to stay?"   
  
Relena stared at him for a second. "What? No! Yes...I don't know!" She took a deep breath. "I'm saying you don't get to sneak into my room in the middle of the night, wake me up, say three words and then leave again!"   
  
"You woke yourself up", he said in his defense. "I just..."  
  
"Oh Heero...shut up!" She climbed off the bed to stand in front of him. "You said you came here to talk to me? Well, there are a few things I have been *dying* to say to you, too."   
  
He had never seen her in such a state. He relaxed his face into its usual state of cool detachment. "All right." A gleam ran across his eye. "Shoot."   
  
Relena's body was taut. Every muscle contracted, every nerve raw. She couldn't hold it in any longer. With a cry, she stumbled forward, her fists raised. Unable to think, she simply hit. Everywhere, anywhere...it didn't matter. She pounded Heero with as much force as possible. "It should have been you!! You should have been with him!! He shouldn't have died....and you! You *want* to die!! Why?!!!!" Great sobs shook her body as she failed against him. "Why is he dead and you're right here?? Why!!??"   
  
Heero didn't move as her fists contacted with his body. The blows were nothing; he would carry no bruises in the morning. It was only the girl's anguish that affected him. He let her hit him until she was completely spent. Sobbing, she began to slide to the floor. He caught her and held her up in a tight embrace. It was the only thing he could think to do.   
  
"I wish it had been me", he said huskily. "I really do."   
  
He felt her shake her head back and forth against his chest. "I couldn't find you...you left and I couldn't find you. You left. You always leave!!" She pulled back and looked up at him with watery blue eyes. "Why do you always leave me?"   
  
Drowning in those eyes. He was drowning... The next thing he knew, his mouth was pressed to hers. Warm and wet, his tongue danced across her lips, coaxing them apart. Her mouth was like ambrosia; kissing her made a dam inside burst. He held her face between his hands, loving her lips, wanting so much more.  
  
The moment he kissed her, Relena ceased to have a single thought in her head. She could only feel the welcome roughness of his slightly chapped lips, the heat of his tongue as it touched hers, the sensation of his hands on either side of her head. A strange moan came from the back of her throat. It wasn't enough, the kiss. She needed more.   
  
Upon hearing that moan, Heero snapped back to attention. What was he doing? He was completely out of control. The needy noise she was making would be his undoing...if he let it be. With a voiceless growl, he broke the kiss, holding her at arms length. "We're not doing this."   
  
Her eyes flew open. The pain of rejection was visible in them instantaneously. "Heero...?"   
  
"You deserve better than this." His jaw set. "You deserve better than me."   
  
Relena swallowed the lump in her throat. "Don't I get to decide that?" He didn't reply. Her small hands grasped his forearms, bringing them down to his sides. She stepped forward. "I want you, Heero. I *need* you." One innocent hand brushed against the fly of his jeans. "I think you feel the same."   
  
Heero looked up at the ceiling. "Don't do that, Relena."   
  
"Why not?" Her hand became more bold. "What are you afraid will happen? That you might lose control...and like it?"   
  
His hands caught her arms, fingers dug into her skin. Ducking his head, he pressed a painful kiss to her mouth. She cried out as his tooth tore her lip. "Is this what you want, Relena?" He began to walk towards the bed, forcing her body along with him. He grabbed ahold of her suit jacket, tearing it from her shoulders. The black silk blouse beneath it was so fragile.   
  
"Heero..." Her voice trembled. "Heero...no..."   
  
They reached the edge of the bed and had nowhere else to go...but down. Pushing her onto her back, Heero set a knee on either side of her body. "Is this how you always imagined your first time? Thoughtless, careless?" His hand grasped her breast, roughly kneading it. "Huh? Is this what you want?"   
  
"Heero!!", she cried. Her hand lifted; her fingers touched his cheek. "Don't...don't..."   
  
The Perfect Soldier blinked. He looked down at her face. Blood flowed from the corner of her mouth. He had hurt her. He was hurting her. Regret washed over him in a great tidal wave. "Relena...", he whispered. The full realization of what he had been about to do hit him. His head dropped to her shoulder. "Gomen nasai....gomen nasai..." Tears he thought he didn't possess wet her blouse.   
  
Relena looked at the canopy over her bed, fighting back her own tears. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, holding onto him for dear life. "It's okay, Heero. It's okay."   
  
They remained like that for a long time. Finally, Heero found the strength to lift himself off of her. "I hurt you", he said.   
  
She wiped the moisture under his eyes away with her thumb. "You hurt me more when you left."   
  
"I did it for you. So you could get on with your life."   
  
"And you can see how well I've done without you. I don't eat, I can't sleep. I send my friends off to die..."  
  
"It wasn't your fault. I should have told you back at the cemetery." He shook his head; the very ends of his bangs brushed her nose. "You did what you thought had to be done. You've always done what you thought you had to...for peace. Duo knew that....I'm sure that's why he agreed to go." He smiled sadly. "Plus he just really liked to fight."   
  
Relena laughed for the first time in years. The sound was music to Heero's ears. "Yes, he did", she agreed. The laughter died. "I told him not to fight though. He was only supposed to be there as a precaution. That's why he didn't fight back....when they shot at him."   
  
"I know." Heero rolled over and sat up. "Shinigami...", he whispered. "I talked to him a month before the uprising."   
  
She sat up too, her body just behind his. "What did you talk about?"   
  
He shrugged. "Everything. Nothing. He was worried about you."  
  
"Me?"   
  
"He said everytime he saw you, you looked sadder than the last time. He told me..." Heero paused. "He told me to talk to you." She heard a sniff. "I didn't listen to him, obviously."   
  
Relena delicately placed her hands on his back. "Heero..."   
  
Heero flinched slightly at the touch, but quickly relaxed. "I didn't find out he was dead until three days after it happened. And even then I couldn't bring myself to face you. I didn't think it would be right..." He stopped. "It really should have been me, Relena."   
  
She shook her head. He caught the scent of her shampoo as her hair flew back and forth. "I didn't mean that, Heero. You know I didn't mean that...right?"   
  
He didn't answer her question. "You were right when you said I want to die. I would welcome death if it came right now."   
  
"No!" Relena grabbed onto his shoulders, twisting him around until she could see his face again. "Don't say that! Don't even think it!"   
  
"I don't have to. Someone's doing it for me." Heero dug around in his pants pocket. He produced a piece of paper a second later. "This is how I found out that Duo was dead."   
  
Relena didn't have to look at it. "That means nothing. Someone's idea of a sick joke."   
  
"You didn't even look at it."   
  
"Quatre and Trowa each got one. I'm betting that Wufei did too, although I'm sure he'll never tell anyone." Relena touched his chin. "Heero..."  
  
He unfolded the paper and read it out loud. "'One down; four to go.'" He re-folded it. "They're waging war on the Gundam pilots, Relena. And maybe we deserve it. The only thing we can do now is fight back. It's kill or be killed here."   
  
"So...you're running off to die again? Leaving me alone..." She smiled wryly. "If you wanted to hurt me, you couldn't pick a better way."   
  
"Relena...it's a death threat. I can't just sit back and..."  
  
She held up one hand abruptly. "There's always going to be something, Heero. We created peace and we're dangerously close to losing it again. I'm watching it slip through my fingers. And I don't know if I'll have the strength to try for it again once it's gone." She met his gaze. "If you accept this challenge, you'll be starting the war. And Duo's death will be completely in vain."   
  
"His death is in vain already", Heero whispered.   
  
"No." Relena smile. "It brought us here, didn't it? In some crazy, sick way we're here because he's dead. Do you know how much that would have made Duo laugh?"   
  
Heero Yuy returned her smile. "I'm sure wherever he is he's laughing his fool head off thinking he had something to do with this. That braided baka..."  
  
Relena wiped a tear from her eye. "I have missed you so much, Heero."   
  
The simple statement hit him like a bullet. "Why?"   
  
"If you have to ask, you don't know me at all."   
  
He looked at his hands. "Sometimes I think I don't. Other times, I think I know you too well. You...get to me, Relena."   
  
Her eyes closed; warmth spread through her body. It wasn't the words she had longed for, but it was more than enough. Her arms wrapped around him; she rested her cheek against his back. "I love you too, Heero."   
  
His hands covered hers. They held onto each other for what seemed like an eternity, yet it wasn't long enough. "I should go. You need to sleep." He began to stand.   
  
"Will you stay the night?", she asked. He looked down at her, incredously. "Not as a lover." Her eyebrow lifted. "Not yet, anyways. But just to be here. You have no idea how safe I feel when you're with me."   
  
"If your brother found me in your bed in the morning, the question of us being lovers in the future would be a non-issue."   
  
Relena smiled. "I'm 21 years old. I'm a world leader. If I want you in my bed, it's my choice and my business."   
  
Heero debated with himself for less than a second. "All right." He watched as she pulled back the covers, slipping under them, still fully dressed. She lifted the sheet and looked at him expectantly. Quickly, he pulled off his shoes, lining them up neatly beside her bed. Silently, almost stealthily, he slid into bed beside her.   
  
She immediately curled up to his side. Unsure of what to do with his arms, he put one around her. It was evidently the right thing to do; she snuggled closer to his body. Her breath was warm against the fabric of his shirt. Heero closed his eyes.   
  
"Heero", she said a second later.   
  
"Hmm?"   
  
"You're not going to take their challenge, are you?"   
  
His eyes opened. "I don't know."   
  
"Heero..." She began to sit up.   
  
He put a finger to her lips, quieting her. "There's always going to be something, didn't you say that? I won't be able to do nothing forever. But you know what I admired most about that American baka?"   
  
"His hair?"   
  
Heero snorted. It could almost have passed for a laugh. "No. It was the way he treated life. Like every day needed to be lived to the absolute fullest because there might not be another. I think maybe I should try that for awhile. What do you think?"   
  
Relena kissed him softly. "I think...I think that's what he would have wanted." She settled back against his body. "Welcome home, Heero."   
  
*********  
  
"I set out on a narrow way, many years ago.  
Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road.  
But I got lost a time or two,  
Wiped my brow; kept pushing through.  
I couldn't see how every sign,  
Pointed straight to you  
  
Every long lost dream, led me to where you are.  
Others who broke my heart; they were just northern stars.  
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.  
This much I know is true;  
God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you.  
  
Now I'm just rolling home,  
Into my lover's arms.  
This much I know is true.  
God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you." 


	2. Broken Road: The Way to War

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing and once again...I'm too lazy to look it up. I know that the rights to it belong to a Japanese company and maybe even an English one. Does that help? Eh...I'm not attempting to take credit for the characters, so it should do the trick. My work here is done.  
  
Author's Notes: This is a sequel to "Broken Road". I was going to call it "Broken Road 2: The Way to War", but that sounded like something Arnold Schwartzeneger (I know...it's not spelled right; do we really care?) would star in. Hehe...okay, just got a totally funny image of Arnold trying to play Heero. ("Ah'll be bhack...to kill you.") Anyways, if you didn't read the first part, you might want to or else live with confusion. Oh yeah...and I took a lot of liberties with Relena's home...you'll see what I mean when you get there. Bear with me...all will make sense eventually.  
  
Dedication: To everyone who asked for a sequel. I tossed around the idea of one when I was writing the first part, but it was yall who gave me the needed push:) Actually, this is to everyone who took the time to read and review "Broken Road". Arigatou gozaimasita!!  
  
**********  
  
Broken Road: The Way to War  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
*********  
  
After Colony 201  
Earth  
  
Sunlight streaming in through the French doors woke him from what had been, without a doubt, the sweetest sleep of his entire life. He opened his eyes only to see a pale peach canopy hanging above his head. He double blinked. It took another second before he realized where he was. In her bed. And the strange warmth pressed against his side was her.   
  
Heero Yuy relaxed. It wasn't something he let himself do very often, but her very presence almost demanded it. He had never woken up in a woman's arms before, especially not after a night of innocent slumber. Usually he left a woman's side after getting what he wanted, before she could want anything from him. Because he knew that whatever it was, he would never be able to give it to someone else.   
  
She shifted in her sleep, resettling her cheek against his chest. Her lips parted as her breathing pattern altered; she was slowly waking up. He lifted the hand that was around her shoulders and stroked her hair.   
  
Relena Peacecraft smiled at the touch. She needed no moment of adjustment as she woke; she knew exactly where she was and exactly who she was with. It hadn't been a dream after all. She pressed even tighter against him, afraid that if she didn't hold on, he might be gone by the time she opened her eyes.   
  
Lips touched her forehead. "Ohayoo gozaimasu", he said softly.   
  
"Hi", she whispered back. "You're still here."   
  
He couldn't blame her for her words. The fact she stated surprised even him. "I told you I'd stay the night."   
  
She cracked one eye open. "Yes, but it's very much morning now."   
  
"Do you want me to go?"   
  
"Bite your tongue", she scolded. The arm that was draped over him stretched lazily. "You're not going anywhere. No matter what."   
  
Just then, there was a soft, but insistent knock on the bedroom door. "Relena?"   
  
Heero looked down at her. "Quatre's staying here?", he asked in a low tone.   
  
She nodded. "And Trowa." She made a motion to sit up, but Heero held her down. "I have to talk to him; I ignored him yesterday."   
  
"Relena...are you all right?", Quatre asked through the door, concern in his voice.   
  
Heero put a finger to her lips before she could say anything back. "We're going to have to figure out a few things before we talk to people."   
  
Relena looked up at him, a puzzled look on her face. She had no chance to question him, however; her bedroom door swung open, revealing a very worried Quatre Raberba Winner.   
  
His expression flew from worry to surprise as he took in the sight before him. Relena and Heero. In bed. Fully clothed, but in bed. The former Gundam pilot's eyes grew wide. "Oh!" He blinked. "Relena?"   
  
"Good morning, Quatre", Relena muttered, mortified. She fought back the urge to bury her head under the covers.   
  
Heero, on the other hand, remained as calm as ever. "Quatre." He nodded his head in greeting.   
  
Quatre's eyes narrowed slightly. Relena wasn't sure, but it almost seemed as though he was ignoring the Japanese man. "I'm sorry, Relena. Did you know that my key works on your door?" He took a breath. "I think you need to come downstairs."   
  
Her heart skipped a beat as she quickly sat up. "Why? What's happened?"   
  
"Hurry", was all Quatre said. He gave Heero another hard look before backing out of the room.   
  
Relena was quiet for a long moment after the door closed. "Something bad has happened", she whispered. Unwittingly, her shoulders began to shake.   
  
Heero sat up and placed a hand on either shoulder, rubbing her skin through her silk blouse. "Relena...stop. Calm down." Under his minstrations, she relaxed a bit. "Whatever is wrong, you can handle it."   
  
"What if I can't?" She closed her eyes and dropped her chin to her chest, but not before a single tear of fright slipped down her cheek.   
  
Heero lifted her face back up. "*Is* there anything you can't handle?"   
  
"War", she replied quietly. "Heero, I'm so scared that everything we fought so long to gain is slipping away."  
  
He ran his thumb up her cheek, wiping the tear's track away. "So, you hold onto it. I've seen you do it before."   
  
"I can't do it by myself."   
  
"You won't." Heero let go of her chin. "You have your brother and his wife. Quatre and Trowa." He stopped.   
  
When he failed to continue after a moment, she swallowed. "I suppose you're right. I do have...all of them." Relena sat for another second before pushing the covers off her legs. "I need to get downstairs."   
  
Heero watched her search for her shoes. Her hair was tousled and her blouse had untucked half of itself sometime during the night. He debated telling her, but decided against it. There was something utterly irresistible about a disheveled Relena Peacecraft.   
  
She was halfway out the door when she stopped. "Are you coming?"  
  
He leaned back against her pillow. "I don't think my presence would be particurally welcome downstairs."   
  
"Heero. You're here. You spent the night. We're not teenagers anymore." Her eyes sparkled with rebellion. "We have nothing to hide." After another second, she swallowed heavily. "Please don't make me go alone."   
  
In the end, it wasn't just her words that motivated him. It was Duo. Something the American had said about Relena in the last conversation they had ever had.   
  
*She's a dove, Heero. And maybe even an eagle. But somewhere under all of that is a little sparrow, who needs protection. You can either take her under your own wing or let her pick crumbs off the street for the rest of her life.*  
  
*That makes no sense whatsoever*, he had replied.  
  
Duo's laughter as he tapped his head. *Sure it does! Makes perfect sense up here where it counts....*  
  
Heero retrieved his shoes and joined her.   
  
********  
  
Quatre greeted them at the base of the stairs, his expression somber. "Relena, a small situation has come up, quite literally, around us."   
  
She was grateful for the solidity of Heero's body next to her, a much needed support. "How small of a situation?"   
  
"Let's just say, it grows even as we speak." Taking her arm, Quatre guided her into the parlor. Heero followed. At the parlor window, Trowa Barton stood, one hand holding back the draperies to see out the glass. He looked up as they came in, only acknowledging Heero's presence with an extra blink.   
  
Relena gave the window a look of pure fright. "What's out there?"   
  
"People." The deep voice of her brother, Millardo Peacecraft approached them from behind. "Angry people. Can't you hear them?"   
  
She could, now that he had pointed out. Her worry and fear had been so great it had completely blocked out the shouts and chants from outside the house. Trowa pushed the curtains aside further to get a better look.   
  
"What do they want?", Heero asked flatly.   
  
Millardo looked the former Gundam pilot up and down suspiciously, but to his credit, asked no questions. "As far as we can tell..." He stopped and glanced at his little sister. Sympathy played across his handsome features.   
  
"Millardo...please." Relena's voice stuck in her throat. "Just say it."   
  
He hesitated another second before replying. "They want war."   
  
Relena felt her knees wobble. She would have fallen had Heero not been there to steady her with a comforting arm around her waist. Her eyes closed; forehead touched Heero's chest. "They want....after everything we did...." She stared up at her brother. "Why?"   
  
"Duo's death." Trowa let the curtains fall back into place.   
  
Heero nodded but said nothing. Millardo glanced at him then back at Relena. "The Gundam pilots are all heroes to the people. By killing one, the revolutionaries have perhaps gotten more than they bargained for. The people want immediate action."   
  
"Which would most certainly bring about full-scale war", Relena whispered. "Oh god..."   
  
Quatre stepped towards her. "This is likely just one small group of people, Relena. A fraction of the population a war does not make."   
  
"I wish it were that simple", Millardo sighed. "Unfortunately, we've been getting reports of this same sort of thing all morning. The people want war, Relena." He reached out and touched her shoulder. "The question is, what are you going to do?"   
  
Heero bit his tongue, tasting his own blood. It was horribly unjust to put the burden of keeping peace throughout the world onto Relena once again. Although she had come through once, didn't she deserve a chance to be young and carefree? Of course, he was the same age... He tightened his hold on her waist, but said nothing.   
  
"I...I can't think..." She put a hand to her forehead and was silent for a long moment. Outside, the angry cries grew louder.   
  
*We must avenge our war heroes!*  
  
*Retaliation is the only way!!"  
  
*Show those god-damned colonists...*  
  
Relena lowered her hand. Her features became blank in the aristocratic air she had perfected over years of political power play. Heero could barely see the woman he had woken up next to in that face. When she spoke, her voice was cool and regal. "Assemble the Cabinet. Contact the Preventers. I want a meeting underway in less than an hour." She unwound Heero's arm from her body. "If you'll excuse me."   
  
The men watched as the former Queen of the World silently walked from the parlor, ascending the stairs without even looking down at a single step. As soon as she was out of sight, Millardo turned on Heero.   
  
"What the hell do you think you're doing here?"   
  
Heero calmly placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "She asked me to be here."   
  
The tall, blond man narrowed his eyes dangerously. "If you lay a finger on her, Yuy, just a finger....I will kill you myself. You've hurt her enough for one lifetime."   
  
"Don't lecture me about hurting Relena, *Zechs*."   
  
Quatre quickly stepped between the men. "Do you really think this..." He waved his hand to indicate the fight that was building. "...is what she needs right now?"   
  
Millardo backed down, but not until he was throughly convinced that the look he gave the Japanese man was enough to convince him that his threat was not an idle one. "I have a meeting to organize." He followed Relena's path out the parlor doors.   
  
From under his thick bangs, Heero glared at his former enemy's retreating figure. Quatre was right, of course. The last thing Relena needed was her brother and him fighting. Still, he couldn't help but imagine how satisfying it would be to feel his fist connect with her brothers' face.   
  
Quatre sighed. "Heero, I swear to Allah. Could you have picked a worse time to come back into the picture?"   
  
"It's good to see you too, friend", Heero replied, coldly.   
  
Trowa joined them, hand extended towards his old combat partner. "Heero."   
  
Heero accepted the offered hand, shaking it briefly. "Trowa."   
  
"Oh, don't pull that stoic solidarity act on me, you two", Quatre said, exasperated. "Why now, Heero? After all this time?"   
  
"Do you even have to ask, Quatre?" Heero pulled out the paper.   
  
"It's a death threat", Trowa said.   
  
"It's a challenge", Heero reinerated.   
  
"It's a cruel joke", Quatre argued. "Don't make more out of it than what's there."   
  
Heero guestured to the window. "Try telling that to those people."   
  
"Those people lived so long in a war society that they have no idea how to deal with peace. They haven't the slightest comprehension of what they're asking for." Quatre pulled his own note from his pocket. "*This* is a taunt. Wars are not started for the sake of one man, no matter who he might have been."   
  
"What about the sake of five men?", Heero proposed, slipping the paper back into his jeans.   
  
Quatre smiled sadly. "You shouldn't put us on a pedestal higher than we deserve, Heero. We're not saints. We're not even role models."   
  
"It will be interesting to see what happens", Trowa spoke up, guiding the conversation away from open confrontation. "She's never had to fight her own people on the issue of peace."   
  
"Relena can handle it", Heero assured them.   
  
"Now you're an expert on Relena?" Quatre's eyes grew harder. "What happened last night, Heero?"   
  
Heero shook his head. "It's not your concern, Quatre."   
  
"It's entirely my concern. Do you think I'm just going to stand by and watch you hurt her all over again?" The Perfect Soldier snorted in indifference. "I'm serious, Heero. If your intentions towards her are at all questionable....well, it's been a long time since I've had to fight, but don't think I've lost my touch."   
  
He was quiet for a second. "I won't fight you, Quatre. There's no need to."   
  
Quatre studied him warily. "You're sure?"   
  
"You have my word."   
  
The sincerity in his words relaxed the Arabian man. He smiled at Heero, this time, genuinely. "It is good to see you, my friend. No matter what the circumstances."   
  
Heero nodded in agreement. The shouting from outside was getting louder by the minute. "Somebody should go take care of them."   
  
"There are no laws against a peaceful demonstration, Heero." Quatre sat on a loveseat.   
  
"I just don't want it to upset Relena anymore than it already has."   
  
Quatre stared up at him. "You said it yourself: Relena can handle it."   
  
"Hai." Heero turned to leave. "Sometimes I think she's stronger than all of us put together."   
  
"Just don't put that strength to the test, Heero. Not again." But the Japanese man was already gone.   
  
Trowa came up behind Quatre and put a hand on his lover's shoulder. "He won't", he murmured.   
  
"I hope not. For his sake."   
  
*******  
  
Relena stopped at the top of the staircase; the tips of her boots hung over the edge of the first step. She took a deep, calming breath, but it did nothing for her nerves. They were shot and wouldn't be at rest until this entire business was over and peace was once more a reality.   
  
She tugged the crevat at her throat. The lace itched like crazy. In fact, her entire outfit was uncomfortable from the stiff boots to the constricting breeches to the heavy, padded overcoat. For once, she wished she could attend a formal meeting such as this in a floral dress and sandals. Giving the braided coil of freshly washed hair at the nape of her neck a final pat, she descended the stairs gracefully.   
  
He was waiting around the corner for her, still dressed in the same jeans and shirt from the night before. Relena smiled; his very presence was a comfort.   
  
"Still here?", she teased.   
  
"I was waiting for you." Heero nodded his head towards the library. "Everyone's waiting for you."   
  
She swallowed heavily. "I know. I should be in there." But she made no motion to go.   
  
Heero took a step towards her. "Relena...", he began. He was cut off by her hand around the back of his neck, pulling his lips down to hers. Her small tongue darted into his mouth, warm and sweet. He closed his eyes and let himself be kissed. After a moment, she pulled away.   
  
"Now I'm ready."   
  
He watched her as she disappeared through the library doors, her head high, her back straight. "A dove and an eagle", he murmured. "And a sparrow."   
  
*******  
  
The loud, insistent buzz of thirty voices speaking as fast as they could, all at once, was giving her headache. At her place at the head of the long conference table, Relena sighed and gently massaged her temples. It was an hour into the meeting and they were still exactly where they had started. No progress, no resolution, no course of action. She might as well have been doing her nails for sixty minutes.   
  
"The people want war!", one of her Cabinet members announced, emphasizing his words with a fist to the oak table. Relena winced.   
  
"The people don't want war, just revenge", another man argued. "The deliberate death of a war hero can *not* be overlooked, but it's not a reason for another war!"   
  
At the far end of the table Relena could see Chang Wufei unfold and refold his arms at the man's words. His face was unreadable and he said nothing.   
  
"Commander Chang", she addressed him. The voices died down a bit, but did not stop altogether. Wufei gave her a blank stare. "What do you think?"   
  
Another Cabinet member latched on to her words. "Yes, Commander. As a Gundam pilot, what is your take on all of this?" There were murmurs of agreement; suddenly, all eyes were on the Chinese man.   
  
He narrowed his own eyes dangerously at Relena. After a long moment, he spoke. "I am not a Gundam pilot anymore. Nor would I call myself a...what's the term we're using today? War hero? But..." A look of disdain settled on his face. "I think the death of one man is no justification for the deaths of thousands in a war of revenge. There are other solutions."   
  
Relena smiled. It was what she had been hoping to hear from him. Now if only he would eventually forgive her for putting him on the spot. "I think we have our decision, gentlemen", she said.   
  
"And what is that, Vice Minister?"   
  
She stood. "I will not declare war. The Preventers will be on full alert until further notice and we will wait for this to die down, as I'm sure it will." She paused. "Duo Maxwell was a great friend and a good man. But I will not watch peace end in his name. Good day."   
  
Thirty voices of protest rang in her ears as she retreated out of the library. When the doors were closed behind her, she buried her face in her hands. It was all too much to deal with. Had her final choice been the right one? There was no way to know.   
  
"Miss Relena." Pagan, her old friend and butler appeared from around a corner. "There is a call for you."   
  
"Thank you, Pagan." She straightened her coat and followed him to her private office. Once inside, she punched up the communicator screen.   
  
Hilde Maxwell greeted her. "Relena, I'm sorry to take you away from your meeting."   
  
"Oh, you didn't", she reassured her. "How are you doing?"   
  
The petite, dark haired woman flinched slightly. "It...it gets easier every day."   
  
Relena nodded. "It does." There was a long pause. "Is there anything I can do for you?", she asked, gently.   
  
Hilde took a breath. "I've been watching the news. And the colonists are all in a stir." She took a breath. "They're saying Earth is getting ready to declare war on the colonies over Duo."  
  
"Things are fairly....bad here." Relena hesitated, unsure of how much to say. "Everyone admired him."   
  
"Admiration is one thing. Adolation is another." Hilde leaned closer to her viewing screen. "Relena, don't let them do it. Don't let them use him as an excuse to start their stupid war. Duo wouldn't want to be someone's martyr. You know that."   
  
Relena looked off to the right. "I know. I don't plan to let a war start, Hilde. Not even for him."   
  
The other woman relaxed. "I knew you wouldn't. I just wanted to make sure you knew what Duo would have thought about all this...um...shit."   
  
She smiled at Duo's widow. "It will be over soon. And then I'd like you to come stay with us for awhile."   
  
Hilde nodded. Her face lightened a bit. "Who's 'us', Relena? Anyone in particular?"   
  
Relena blushed. "Do you have some time?"   
  
*********  
  
Somehow, he had wandered into the lower part of the Peacecraft mansion, the sub-basement. An old center of operation for OZ. His lip curled in distaste. Sometimes he had to fight to remind himself that the war was over; he had no need for hate or hostility anymore.   
  
But old habits die hard.   
  
Now, however, the room was more of a shrine to an era he had helped erase from existence. A dusty, forgotten shrine. Every part ever needed to create a mobile suit or a mobile doll lay strewn across the immense, dark room, apparently hastily discarded in the final days of the war. Computer consoles, long since outdated, lined the walls.   
  
He wondered if this room would ever be resurrected. It was a distinct possibility. He could feel it coming. Should Relena not be able to hold on to the peace they had all fought so hard for, this room he stood in might very well come alive again.   
  
There was a familiar presence behind him all of the sudden. He put his hands in his pockets, but didn't turn around. "Wufei."   
  
"Heero." The Chinese man remained where he was. "If I had to pick a spot in this house where you would most likely be, this would be it."   
  
He turned to see his old comrade. "I take it the meeting is over."   
  
"They'll be arguing for hours. But she left awhile ago", Wufei said. Heero nodded. Even after all this time, Wufei still had trouble acknowledging Relena, a woman, as any sort of leader. "Does she know you're here?"   
  
"She does", Heero replied. He paused. "Still with the Preventers, ne?"   
  
Wufei shrugged. "It's a chance to be in space. And Sally likes it."   
  
Heero looked down at the floor to hide a half-formed smile. "Sally...how is she?"   
  
"As big as a horse and twice as much work. I'm hoping she'll have this kid soon." Behind his tough words, Heero could plainly see the affection Wufei had grown to feel for the Preventer's chief physician.   
  
"You'll be the first father out of all of us."   
  
Wufei snorted. "I always figured the American would take that honor, hands down." His tone almost softened for a second. "I guess not."   
  
Heero slowly shook his head. "Iie." There was a pause, neither comfortable nor uncomfortable. "What was the final decision up there?"   
  
"Pacifism wins the day", Wufei scowled. "The Preventers are on full alert, but there will be no war. Yet."   
  
"She came through."   
  
The Chinese man crossed his arms. "If you call that a solution." He shrugged again. "I have my doubts."   
  
Heero closed his eyes. "As do I."   
  
"Watch your back, Heero. I'll be watching mine." He took a step backwards.   
  
He nodded. "Where are they sending you?"   
  
Wufei unfolded his arms. "L3. For as long as this goes on."   
  
"Good luck." Heero held his hand out.   
  
The Chinese man shook it after only a second's hesitation. "You too, Heero. Gods go with you."   
  
"I don't plan on having anything to do with this."   
  
Wufei shook his head. "I don't think you'll get a choice, friend." He bowed slightly before leaving.   
  
Heero stood in the dark for a long time after he left, thinking. In his pocket, his fingers found the note. What was it all about? And how much did he and the other Gundam pilots really have to do with it?   
  
He pulled his hand out of the pocket and began to make his way upstairs. Whatever it was all about, Relena wasn't going to let peace go without a fight. And he fully intended to be by her side through the struggle.   
  
Even if he never admitted to her that it was what he was doing.   
  
*********  
  
"Vice Minister, are you certain that *no* reaction to the attack on Mr. Maxwell, not to mention to the unrest on L5, is the *right* reaction?"   
  
Relena held back a deep sigh. How many times had she heard this question from her advisors in the past two weeks? It was getting rather repetitive; the men needed to get together and write some new questions. "Obviously, Colonel Brandon, I do. So far, it seems to be working just fine."   
  
The obese, bearded man in front of her shifted in his seat. "I fail to see your logic, Vice Minister. Wasn't Duo Maxwell a friend of yours?"   
  
"Colonel." Relena's eyes flashed for a brief second. "*Never* doubt my loyalty to my friend's memory."   
  
He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Pardon me. I just meant to say that..."  
  
"You meant to say that I should throw away any chance at peace because of a personal vendetta against whoever killed Duo Maxwell." Relena stood up and walked to the window of her office. "I won't do that, Colonel. *Because of* my loyalty to his memory."   
  
The Colonel shook his head; through the reflections in the glass, she watched him haul his bulk out of his chair. "How many more people have to die before you'll accept what's coming?"   
  
Relena closed her eyes. "Good day, Colonel Brandon." Her tone was frosty.   
  
With a heavy sigh, he left her office, shutting the door behind him louder than necessary. Relena shook her head after a minute. The man was impossible. It was almost as if he were eager for a war to start. Suddenly, she felt two hands touch her shoulders. Her eyes flew open.   
  
In the glass, she could see Heero just behind her. Her body relaxed. "I didn't even hear you open the door", she told him warmly.   
  
"The fat one looked like he was about to kill something, storming out", Heero said. His fingers began to work at the muscles of her shoulders through her formal coat. "What were you two doing in here?"   
  
She smiled. "Wouldn't you like to know? Oh...." Her eyes closed again. "That really feels good." He ran his hand down the length of the braid that hung down her back. "So...of course you stop", she teased. Spinning around to face him, she gave him a soft kiss. "He wanted what they all want. A declaration of war."   
  
Heero stared down at her intently. "And?"   
  
Relena blinked. "And...my answer was 'no'. As always." She frowned. "Did you think it would be any different?"   
  
He shrugged. "I don't claim to have any idea what's in that head of yours."   
  
"Let me walk you through it then." She kissed him again. "There's my family, Millardo and Lucy...Pagan....friends, Quatre, Trowa, Hilde. Duo. Sally, Wufei...." Another kiss. "You...." He kissed her back. "A lot of you.... Duty, responsibility...the people...the future of the colonies, the future of the Earth. My hair." She thought she heard a strangled chuckle from him. "So, you see? There's no room for war in there." She leaned in for another kiss, but he put his finger to her lips.   
  
"I just don't want you to blind yourself to anything."   
  
Relena sighed and broke away from him. She walked to her desk and picked up a thin file. "All right...are you going to tell me what that means or do I get to guess?"   
  
Heero didn't turn around. "If it's inevitable, it will happen, Relena." Finally, he turned around and stuck his hands in his pockets. "No matter what you do to prevent it."   
  
Pretending to be deeply interested in her file, Relena furred her brow. "Hmm....yes. Well, the Vice Minister thanks you for your personal political opinions, Mr. Yuy. But if you don't mind, she'd rather swing towards the positive end of things for a little while longer."   
  
Heero grabbed the file from her hands and tossed it back onto her desk. "Hey." He caught her wrists in his hands. "I'm on your side here. But I'm not blind. And I refuse to let you be either. There comes a point when you have to ask yourself something."   
  
"What's that?" She struggled against his grip, but it was useless. She would only end up with bruises.   
  
"Are you maintaining peace for the people...or for yourself?"   
  
The heavy stare she gave him was broken by an insistent pounding on her office door. The person on the other side wasted no time waiting for a reply, bursting into the room a minute later. It was Lucrezia Noin. She was obviously upset.   
  
"Lucy?" Relena waited for Heero to release her wrists. "What is it?"   
  
"We just recieved news from the Preventers..." She stopped as uncharacteristic tears began to flow down her cheeks.   
  
Relena went to her, embracing her sister-in-law. "Lucy?"   
  
Noin struggled to compose herself. "There was an attack on the Preventers on L3." She took a breath. "Wufei..."   
  
Heero's fist tightened. "Is he dead?"   
  
"No. But he's...very badly hurt." Noin wiped at her eyes. "I wish I knew more...but it just happened a few hours ago. A...a bomb is what they think..." She shook her head as the tears began to fall again.   
  
Just then Millardo entered the room. The first thing he did was wrap his wife up into his arms. "It's all right", he soothed in a low tone.   
  
Relena was completely numb. "Wufei", she whispered. She felt Heero approach her, but walked forward before he could touch her. "They attacked...Wufei."   
  
Heero called out to her. "Relena."   
  
She couldn't feel her knees. "Another...Gundam pilot." Her eyes closed. "Another friend." She was unaware of her body dropping to the floor.   
  
*********  
  
Someone was gently shaking her shoulder. "Relena....Relena, wake up." Her eyes fluttered open; Quatre's face looked back down at her. A smile of relief came to his lips as she woke. "Thank goodness."   
  
She sat up. They were in her office; she was lying on the couch in the far corner. "What happened? Where is everyone?"   
  
"You fainted. Shock." Quatre reached for a glass of water on the end table. "Here...drink this." Relena obligingly took the glass and drank. "Miss Noin and your brother are in a meeting with the Preventers."   
  
"And Heero?"   
  
Quatre set the glass back onto the end table. "He had some business to take care of. But he'll be back", he assured her. "You were out for a good two hours. And that was just after I got here."   
  
Relena settled back against the couch's throw pillows. Suddenly, a thought came to her, propelling her back up into a sitting postion. "Wufei!! What happened to Wufei??"  
  
"We haven't heard much more than what you already know." Quatre folded his hands in his lap. "There was a bomb. Several men were killed, but Wufei was one of the lucky ones. Sally is working on him right now; the man I talked to promised he'd have her contact you as soon as she was out of surgery."   
  
Her mind was foggy. "She shouldn't have to do that. He's her husband..." Her eyes closed.   
  
"Do you think she would let anyone else touch him?" Quatre smiled. "He's in the best hands possible, Relena. I have a feeling he'll be all right."   
  
"It's them...isn't it, Quatre?" Relena crossed her arms over her chest for warmth. "The same people who killed Duo...the colonists."   
  
The pain in Quatre's eyes was overwhelming. "I think so", he whispered.   
  
"I don't understand...why?! He's from the colonies...Duo, you, Heero....you're all from the colonies!! Why you?"   
  
Quatre shook his head; his eyes were tearful. "We did a lot of terrible things, Relena. Everyday I ask myself for forgiveness for the things I did during the war." He took a breath. "Someone is trying to eliminate us. And in the process, they're starting another war."   
  
"No. I will *not* let them do that. If peace is lost, Quatre, then all those things you did during the last war will be..." She stopped.   
  
"Unjustified? Wrong?", he supplied, wryly.   
  
"I would never judge you like that, Quatre."   
  
He sniffed before forcing a smile. "I know." There was a long pause. "What are you going to do?"   
  
"I honestly have no idea", she replied. "Isn't that frightening? Relena Peacecraft doesn't have the answer. She just knows that she doesn't want war. Not again."   
  
Quatre put his hand on her shoulder. "Neither do I. But..." He took another breath.   
  
"But...what?" Relena laid her hand on his. "Quatre?"   
  
When he looked back at her, his tears had returned. "They killed Duo, Relena. They almost killed Wufei. They're really and truly after us." He shook his head abruptly. "I don't fear for my own life. But Trowa....he could be next." Quatre caught her stare and held it. "I would do anything to protect Trowa. Even start a war."   
  
She released his hand. "I see."   
  
"But I'm not you, Relena. And it's not my choice. Maybe I'd feel differently if it were", Quatre continued.   
  
Relena was quiet for several long minutes. He waited patiently until she spoke again. "Quatre?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Do you think it's the job of a leader to do what they want for their people..." Relena swallowed. "Or to do what the people want for themselves?"   
  
Quatre's brow crinkled. "I'm not sure I follow you."   
  
She stood up on shaky legs. "Heero said something this afternoon. He wanted to me to ask myself whether I'm maintaining peace for the people...or for myself. I never even thought about it that way before." She played with the end of the braided rope of hair that hung over her shoulder. "Everyone seems to want war. And I'm the only one who's holding back."   
  
"Relena..."  
  
"So, the question becomes..." She tossed the braid back into place. "Does being a leader mean representing the people's best interest or the people?"   
  
He thought for a moment. "I really couldn't tell you, Relena. You just have to do what you feel is right."   
  
The former Queen of the World was quiet for a minute. "Thank you, Quatre. I know what I have to do now."   
  
*********  
  
"People of Earth. I am the Vice Minister of Foriegn Affairs, Relena Peacecraft. I speak to you today with a heavy heart and news that is not easy for me to divulge. At 1500 hours this afternoon, a bomb was detonated on the L3 colony. In addition to the terrorist himself, six of our Preventers were killed and twenty more were injured in this tragedy. This direct, deliberate and, most importantly, unprovoked attack is the final straw in what has been nearly three weeks of unrest between Earth and the colonies. It can not be ignored. As of 2100 hours, the United Alliance of Earth has declared war on the five colonies. I can only hope that we can meet with peace again soon. Until then, God be with us all."   
  
*********  
  
"Vice Minister!! Was the attack on the Preventers truly the *only* deciding factor in your decision to delcare war??"  
  
"How long do you predict this war to go on?"  
  
"Will the Gundams be resurrected to fight on behalf of the Earth, Vice Minister?"   
  
Relena whirled on the reporters. "I have said everything that I needed to say in my speech. Now, if you'll excuse me..."  
  
"Vice Minister, just a few words please!!!"  
  
"Vice Minister? If you could just turn your head...."   
  
"Is it true that there's a man staying with you at night in the Peacecraft manor, Ms. Relena?"  
  
With her hand on the manor's doorknob, Relena's jaw dropped. She turned around again to face the masses of people and cameras. "What?"   
  
Beside her, Millardo held his hands up. "That will be all! And for the record, the Vice Minister's private life is never to be a political issue."   
  
The reporter who posed the question pressed on. "The people have a right to know, Commander Peacecraft. They...."   
  
"I said enough!" Millardo's voice, abormally raised, silenced the hungry reporters. "Peace died today. Let's try to remember that." Before the people could resume their barage of questions, Millardo pulled the front door open and gently pushed Relena inside, slamming it behind them.   
  
Her knees were weak, but she forced herself to stand. She had done enough fainting for one day. "Thank you, Millardo."   
  
The tall man gave his sister a slightly frosty blue look. "Is it true that a man is staying with you at night?"   
  
She met his glare with one of her own. "You know it is. Why even ask?"   
  
"Do I even have to tell you what I think about it?"   
  
A faint smile appeared on her lips. Standing on the tips of her toes, she gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "I just declared war on five colonies. Would you begrudge me a man in my bed?"   
  
"Only a certain one." Millardo sighed. He was fighting a losing battle. "Just promise me you'll be careful, Relena."   
  
"Millardo, I doubt we could get any safer if we tried." She began to make her way up the stairs. "I've just recently convinced him to take his shirt off to sleep."   
  
She derived as much satisfaction as she was entitled upon seeing two bright pinks spots color her brother's cheeks. "I didn't mean... Relena, you know I didn't mean...." She disappeared around the corner. His voice echoed through the main hall. "Oh damn it all."   
  
Relena couldn't help but smile as she walked down the long hall to her bedroom. Unconciously, her hands worked to take off her small pearl earrings as she entered her room and closed the door behind her.   
  
He was standing by the window, waiting for her. She blinked in slight surprise, but quickly relaxed. "You're back", was all she said as she sat at her dressing table.   
  
"I had to meet with some people", Heero replied. His back remained turned to her. "I saw you on the television."   
  
"Yes. Well..." Relena carefully placed her earrings in her jewelry box and shrugged out of her white linen suit jacket. "I wasn't left with much choice."   
  
"But you made the right one."   
  
A smile played across her face as she undid her hair from its braided coils. "I appreciate the vote of confidence." She shook her head as the long locks of her blond hair cascaded around her shoulders.   
  
Heero turned and gave her a wary look. "You're very calm."   
  
"For someone who just started a war?" Relena lowered her head. "I can't feel *anything*, Heero. When I was in front of the camera...announcing my decision, it was like I was watching myself go through the motions." She shook her head and reached around the back of her neck to unfasten her pearl necklace. "I don't know what's wrong with me."   
  
She felt his hands over hers, helping her unhook the necklace. "You're in shock. It's understandable." He took the necklace and neatly coiled it at the bottom of the laquered jewelry box. He gently grasped her shoulders and guided her into a standing position, facing him. "And I'm about to make it worse."   
  
"Worse?"   
  
Heero nodded. "My meeting was with the Preventers."  
  
Relena took a breath, holding it for a second before exhaling. It did nothing to calm the fear that had risen in the back of her throat. "And...?"  
  
He spoke quickly. "They want me to investigate the bombing, Relena. On L3. I'll have to go undercover...probably for a long time." In true Heero Yuy form, he wasted no words.   
  
She could feel the hot tears forming, but made no motion to hide them. "No...", she whispered. Her head shook back and forth. "Oh no..."  
  
"Wufei told me I wouldn't be able to avoid this, Relena. And I knew he was right." She continued to shake her head in disbelief. He gently took her face between his hands, holding her still. "I have to go. You know that I have to go."   
  
"I know", she replied shakily. "But please..." Her voice trailed off.  
  
"Please what?"   
  
Relena's arms lifted; her palms covered his knuckles on either side of her head. "Tell me you don't *want* to leave me."   
  
"Relena..." His grip loosened, but she held his hands in place. "You know the answer to that. I don't need to say it outloud." She said nothing. Finally, he spoke again. "I don't want to go."   
  
She nodded; her eyes closed as tears spilled over, wetting his fingers. "When do you leave?"   
  
"As soon as possible. Sooner." He kissed her forehead. "I should go now."   
  
"No." Letting go, she stepped back, regarding him from a distance with a look he didn't recognize. At least not in her. It was a look of desperation, of desire and need so great that words alone weren't enough. Only actions. Her fingers lifted to her neck to play with the top button of her white silk blouse. "You're not leaving tonight."   
  
He wet his dry lips. "Will there be something keeping me here?" For all his teasing, she surprised him. The drive to gather her into his arms and carry her to the bed was overwhelming.   
  
Relena worked the top button loose and began on the others. When the blouse was completely undone, she pushed it back from her shoulders and off her arms, tossing it to the floor. She stood before him in her white skirt and lacy white brassiere. "Stay...and find out", she whispered. The bold words almost didn't make it out of her mouth. Only seeing his eyes taking in the sight of her with such reverent appreciation propelled her on.   
  
Heero stepped towards her until he could feel the warmth of her body inches away from his. He touched her cheek and fought to keep his fingers from straying to other parts of her body. "Relena....are you sure this is what you want?"   
  
"Since I was old enough to *know* what I wanted, you have been it, Heero." She looked up at him, pure emotion emenating from the centers of her blue eyes. "I love you. And I want to be with you."   
  
He shook his head. "How can you do that?"   
  
"Do what?" She raised her chin, brushing her lips across his.   
  
Heero responded to the touch by capturing her mouth in a much deeper kiss. His senses rediscovered the touch and taste of kissing her. He gently pulled back. "Make me feel like a good man."   
  
She kissed him again. "You are a good man, Heero Yuy. No matter what happens tomorrow or the day after tomorrow...or a year from now, you will always be a good man to me. And if you don't touch me soon, I'm going to go crazy."   
  
A genuine laugh escaped from the Perfect Solider. He pressed a warm kiss into hollow at the base of her throat and ran his hands from her collarbones to her slender waist. "Tell me what to do, kirei. This is your night."   
  
She did just that, with as much grace and finesse as he knew her to possess, but also with an inherent innocence that he had expected and a passion that he had only hoped to invoke. Being with her, touching and kissing the places he had only dreamed of, feeling her warmth surrounding him, knowing that he was the only man she had ever let see her like this, be with her like this...it was what heaven must be. If there was one at all.   
  
For Relena, it was all she needed to make her complete. He was as he had known he would be: caring, self-less, passionate and above all, gentle. It was hard to believe that this man could have ever held a gun to her or wanted to harm her in any way. When she was in his arms, she was safe. Nothing could hurt her. The pain she had been taught to fear was fleeting; he made it disappear with patience and what she knew to be love. And when it was gone, the pleasure was overwhelming.   
  
They touched ectasy together. Time was irrelevant. The world had been reduced to the two of them.   
  
Afterwards, he held her against his chest, unwilling to let go. He briefly wondered if she had perhaps been made specifically for him; she fit perfectly into his arms. After awhile, he felt her body begin to fall into sleep, content to stay curled on him for the remainder of the night. He gently rolled them onto their sides.   
  
Running one finger across her eyebrow and down her cheek, Heero softly kissed her lips. "Ai shiteru. And someday, I'll tell you when you're awake." Carefully, as not to wake her, he slipped out of bed and dressed. As he closed the French doors to the balcony behind him, he took one last look at her. "I'll be back for you. I promise."   
  
*********  
  
Heero adjusted the temperature control of the mobile suit he was piloting for the third time since his departure from Earth. His body couldn't decide whether the cramped control area was too hot or too cold. In the past, neither would have bothered him the slightest. But for some reason today he wanted equilibrium. He lowered the air flow level and hoped for the best.  
  
The vast reaches of space spread out in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he allowed himself to enjoy the sight. He could never forget how beautiful it was, outer space. It was something he had vowed never to take for granted as he had done with other things in his life.   
  
She would be waking up soon only to find him gone. It wouldn't shock or surprise her and he could only hope the hurt would be less knowing where he was and why...and how much he wished he didn't have to be elsewhere.   
  
A monitor told him that he was rapidly approaching the L1 colony. He managed to push her to the safer recesses of his brain while his concentration was needed elsewhere. Adjusting his grip on the mobile suit's controls, he began to veer away from the colony, lest he be detected by their radar.   
  
Just then, an insistent beeping from the control panel caught his attention. Three spots on his radar screen; he was being ambushed.   
  
Heero punched away at the controls, readying all of the suit's weapons. "Don't challenge me", he said to the unidentified enemy.   
  
There was a blast to his left and then to his right. The suit managed to dodge both, returning crossfire with a flick of Heero's wrist. His eyes narrowed as he fired in rapid sucession, momentarily satisfied when one of the three strange mobile suits that had attacked him went up in a ball of fire.   
  
He had just begun to relax into the spirit of the battle when his world exploded. He had no time for a last thought before the darkness closed around him, but if he had, it would have been her.   
  
*********  
  
To Be Continued.... 


	3. Broken Road: The Path to Peace

Disclaimer: Yall know the drill. Gundam Wing does not belong to me. I don't even speak Japanese that well; I ended up with a C in Japanese I, which I fully intend to pull up in Japanese II. Anyways, I don't own it. I just like playing around with it.   
  
Author's Notes: "Broken Road: The Path of Peace" was supposed to be one part, but...um...it got too long. And I'm impatient. No, the second part isn't finished yet, but almost...almost. Thanks for sticking with me, minna:) Also, this section gets a little....citrusy towards the end. If you don't like Vitamin C, click your back brower button now.   
  
Dedication: To everyone who has stuck with the story:)  
  
*********  
  
Broken Road: The Path of Peace  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
*********  
  
After Colony 203  
Earth  
  
"What you are telling me, Colonel Brandon, is that there was absolutely no way to get our people out of L3 without such heavy losses to both armies?"   
  
The heavyset man on the screen nodded emphatically. "That is correct, Ms. President. I felt that in this situation, drastic measures had to be taken to ensure that in the future, any men of ours who are captured by enemy troops will be treated with the same dignity and respect that we treat our captured prisoners."   
  
Relena Peacecraft took a deep breath and counted to ten. "You blew up almost 100 mobile suits, Colonel, taking not only the colonists, but your own men! How can you ensure dignity with such a disgusting act of war?"   
  
"President Peacecraft...", the man began.   
  
She held up one hand, stopping him. "That will be all, Colonel. And in the future, I expect you to show a little more mercy in your strategy. We are at war, but we are not barbarians." Before he could reply, she flicked the communicator screen off, clearing away his pudgy face.   
  
Fighting back the urge to scream, she abruptly stood up and walked to her office window. The ocean view had comforted her more times than she could remember in the two years since the war had begun, but tonight even the ocean's gentle lull through the dark could not calm her.   
  
She crossed her arms tightly across the bodice of her blue silk ballgown. From downstairs, she could hear the sounds of the gala event, a celebration of the Earth troops' victory at L3. The very notion made her sick; celebrating a bloody battle. But, perhaps there was something more to her anger and restlessness than just her general distaste for fighting.   
  
L3. She had hoped and prayed for nearly two years. When she finally recieved news that L3 was stable and under the occupation of Earth, she had almost fooled herself into believing he would be there, waiting for his freedom to come, waiting to get back to her. But after an extremely thorough search, her colonel in charge of the search party was forced to give her the news that no one matching Heero Yuy's description had been found on the occupied colony.   
  
She knew it was time to let go of the dream that he might be alive somewhere. Two years was a very long time; a determined Heero would never have needed that long to break out of any prison or colony work camp. Only death could ever stop him from being where he wanted to be. Unless, this wasn't where he wanted to be...  
  
Shaking her head violently as if to clear her mind of such thoughts, she stepped away from the window. There was a knock at the door. "Come in", she called out.   
  
Her sister-in-law, Lucrezia Noin, poked her head into the room. "Am I interrupting?"   
  
Relena smiled wearily. "No...I just finished arguing with Colonel Brandon. I can do that anytime."   
  
"Ah." Noin smiled and opened the door further. "Well, I have someone here who really wants to see you."   
  
"Oh...not again", she laughed. Her sister-in-law nodded. Relena waited patiently for the expected person to appear next to Noin. When the little girl finally toddled into the doorway in her tiny nightgown, a much broader smile spread onto Relena's face. "Adia...what are you doing to your aunt, child?" Walking to the door, she scooped her daughter up into her arms and held her close. "I put you to bed hours ago and you were just fine."   
  
The little girl giggled mischieviously and buried her face in Relena's neck. Grinning, Noin touched a curled lock of her niece's hair. "I found her wide awake in her crib when I went to check on the boys", she told Relena, referring to her twins, Samuel and David. "They were completely conked out, of course, but she was just lying there, playing with her feet. She started to whine when I left the room and you know I can't resist that face."   
  
Relena gently kissed her daughter's mop of chestnut colored curls. The child was already falling asleep. This was a familiar game of Adia's, to see which adult she could garner the most sympathy from. Her Uncle Millardo was usually the one to lose, but this time, she had coerced her aunt into taking pity on her. "I think she's going to give us more headaches than the twins combined. Everything I read told me that girls are supposed to be sweet and well-behaved and easier to handle than boys."   
  
Noin shrugged good-naturedly. "Well, you can't completely rely on those parenting books for guidelines, you know." *Because not every child is the daughter of Heero Yuy*, she added to herself.   
  
"Thank you, Lucy", she told her brother's wife. "I'll check on the twins again when I put her to bed. You go back and enjoy the party."   
  
"Goodnight, Adia Marie", Noin whispered, waving her index finger at her sleepy niece. "See you downstairs, Relena." She backed out of the room, leaving Relena alone with her daughter.   
  
Relena brought her other arm up to support Adia's little body. The joy she felt when the baby was in her arms was incomparable. While the child should have been a constant, painful reminder of something lost to her, Adia's presence almost let her forget that anything *was* lost. She was a tiny bit of perfection that Relena had been given completely out of the blue.   
  
It was hard to believe that it had only been a year ago that the little girl had made her way into Relena's life. She chuckled, thinking back to that evening. Millardo in a panic, a hugely pregnant Noin trying to calm him down while organizing the entire group, Quatre by her side in the car, helping her to breathe, Trowa driving to the military base's hospital because no one had the heart to wake up Pagan. It had been a completely insane, intensely painful night. Perhaps the best of her life, with only one possible exception.   
  
But when all the panic and pain was over, there was a tiny person who belonged entirely to her. Who had been concieved in love and born in the same way.   
  
A person who really *wouldn't* ever leave her, no matter what.   
  
The child stirred against her chest, giving the peaceful sigh of the sleeping innocent. Relena kissed her head again and breathed in the clean scent of her baby shampoo. Her hair was so much like his, but her eyes were entirely Relena's. "He would be very proud of you, Adia", she whispered. "Even if he never said it."   
  
A beeping from her desk told her someone was calling. Swallowing back the melancholy that had sprung up on her, she went to answer it. Quatre Raberba Winner's familiar face appeared on the screen. When he saw Adia in her arms, his perpetual smile grew even warmer. "I see the Peacecraft women are doing well tonight."   
  
Relena returned his smile. "She's been playing the game with Lucy. And now she's put herself to sleep." She readjusted her hold on her daughter. "How are you, Quatre?"   
  
"Fine. I was just calling to wish the little princess a very happy first birthday. Trowa and I..." He hesitated. "Well, we're leaving for L4 in the morning and we won't be able to call during her party." Quatre's smile dimmed a bit.   
  
Relena's disappeared altogether. "They're sending you two out to the front? So close to the holidays?"   
  
"We volunteered." Quatre looked down at his lap. "I'm sorry, Relena. They need us."   
  
"I know", she whispered. Holding Adia even tighter, she forced the smile back onto her lips. "If you promise to take care of each other, I'll try not to worry too much."   
  
Quatre scratched his cheek innocently. "I promise. Now, you promise me something."   
  
"Anything."   
  
"Miss Adia should be getting a rather large, rather complex package from her uncles tomorrow. Will you make sure that she thoroughly enjoys it and maybe even shares it with her cousins?"   
  
Relena laughed. "You two are determined to spoil her, aren't you?"   
  
"Absolutely. Do you promise?"   
  
"I promise. Any hints as to what this might be, so I can prepare the mansion if necessary?"   
  
Quatre grinned. "It's not a pack of forty bodyguards, if that's what you're thinking."   
  
"That comes when she reaches puberty, right?"   
  
He chuckled. "Maybe. All I'll say about this present is that there is not a sandbox in the world to rival it."   
  
"Of course", Relena laughed as loudly as she could without waking Adia. "What else should I have expected from you, desert boy?"   
  
"I'm just sorry I won't get to see her enjoy it right away."   
  
The mood a bit more somber, Relena reached out and brushed her fingers across the screen as if she could almost touch him. "That's why you have to come back safely and quickly. So you can see her bury her cousins in the sand."   
  
"That does sound like something Hee...your daughter would do." Quatre shook his head. "I'm sorry, Relena. I.."  
  
"Quatre, you don't have to tiptoe around me anymore. I can hear his name; I won't fall apart."   
  
The blond man sighed. "I just...don't like making it any harder on you." He looked at the sleeping child in Relena's arms. She was the picture of Heero. "I can't believe it's been a year."   
  
"Almost two", she corrected him.  
  
"I meant since she was born." Quatre smiled. "I've been thinking about it all day."   
  
Relena let herself smile back. "Me too." She paused. "Quatre, I don't know if I've ever really thanked you and Trowa...for everything you did for me. Not just that night, but since he...since Heero left."   
  
"You don't need to thank us, Relena. We should thank you for letting us be a part of your life. Of her life. But if you ever decide to do that again, it'll be Trowa's turn to hold your hand. I'm just now getting feeling back into mine."   
  
She laughed again. How her old friend could put her in such a good mood was beyond her. She was just thankful for it. "Please...I could have squeezed much harder than I did." With her free hand, she kissed the tips of her fingers and pressed them to the screen. "Come back to us, Quatre. You and Trowa both. Before Christmas."  
  
"It's a deal. Goodbye, Relena."   
  
"Bye." The screen went blank. She sat for a long minute, content to simply hold her daughter for the rest of the night. Anything was better than facing a ballroom full of boasting colonels and their simpering wives.   
  
Adia yawned, revealing the first tiny teeth that were pushing their way into her mouth. If she hadn't seen them with her own eyes, Relena probably wouldn't have even known her daughter was teething. The child bore pain like her father. It had taken her less than two days to learn to walk; when she fell, she got right back up again, no tears, no quitting. So much like Heero.  
  
She rarely cried at all, in fact. Her younger cousins were a mystery to the little girl as they were constantly alternating between squealing laughter and high-pitched wailing. Relena often caught Adia with a block or a cookie in her little hand, staring at the boys as if she were trying to decide just what was *wrong* with them. If Relena kept watching, she would see Adia eventually shake her dark curls and return to her toy or snack, studiously ignoring her rambunctious cousins. At the age of one, Adia had perfected the looks of total annoyance and complete apathy.  
  
Relena didn't know if it should amuse or worry her.  
  
She sighed and stood up. Careful to not jostle Adia too much, she left her office and made her way through the manor to the nursery. Millardo and Noin's boys were fast asleep in their cribs, lying on their pudgy little stomachs, white blond curls askew. Gently, she lay Adia down in her own bassinette and drew a tiny, pink baby blanket around her.   
  
"I love you", she told her daughter. The achingly familiar teddy bear, still so dear to her after all these years, sat propped up in the corner of the crib. Relena ran her fingers over its worn fur before picking it up and setting it down next to Adia. The little girl sneezed, but still didn't wake. Relena smiled sadly.   
  
The stuffed animal was a poor subsitute for the man, but it was all Relena had to give their child of Heero. She wanted to tell Adia all about her father in words she could understand. She didn't want her to grow up without him in her life. The pain of not knowing exactly what sort of person your father had been was a burden she herself bore, and one she desperately hoped her daughter wouldn't have to. Relena had decided long before that when the time was right, when Adia was old enough to really understand, she would tell her all about Heero. The good and the bad.   
  
Until then, she had the teddy bear.   
  
**********  
  
The dream woke him once again. It had become familiar, something he expected every night without fail. He lay in his miniscule, regulation cot, a cold sweat causing the coarse blanket around him to stick to his skin. His chest rose and fell; the sound of his own breathing was audible throughout the barracks. No one woke, however; a full day of back-breaking work was enough to put them to sleep for the entire night.   
  
But he was different. The dreams plagued him; they never let him rest. There was no explaination for them, no way for him to understand what they meant. And as the days grew into weeks and the weeks into months, he felt they were getting more and more distant, as though he would never understand.   
  
The woman. She had come to him, as usual, in his sleep. Her hair flowed around her body; her eyes sparkled. She smiled at him and her lips moved, forming a word he couldn't hear. Perhaps his name, perhaps a simple greeting, he really didn't know. Names were not necessary where he was; numbers sufficed. Not that he knew if he even had a name.  
  
He turned over onto his side and closed his eyes, attempting sleep once more. But she was still there, in his head. Her face filled his thoughts...strangely recognizable, yet hazy and unidentifiable. She wore white; he wasn't sure why she always appeared to him in white. It made her delicate, untouchable. White was not a color he saw when he was awake. Every night, her arm would reach out to him as if beckoning him to come to her. He wanted to; he never hesitated to try. But his feet were always frozen into place. He could never move. Yelling to her to wait, he would struggle, but it would be to no avail. Twinkling tears would begin to run down her cheeks and as her lips continued to mouth the unreadable word, she would fade away. And he would wake up.   
  
The frustration of not knowing who she was, of not really knowing who *he* was, consumed him. He knew he must be from somewhere, but the memories were completely out of his grasp. The only thing he knew for sure, however, was that he was nothing. A slave, a menial worker somewhere in outer space.   
  
There were other things in these dreams that he didn't understand. The strangely shaped mobile machines, the priest with braided hair who never spoke, only laughed, but she was the one thing he held on to. He survived every day knowing that she would be with him in the night. As distant as she was, she had become everything to him.   
  
"Who are you?", he asked out loud, his words echoing throughout the barracks. "Why are you haunting me?"  
  
*********  
  
"Mobile 104 is clear to take off." Quatre had been waiting patiently for the flight colonel's words over the cockpit's speaker. He grasped the main control with one hand. "Good luck, sir", the man continued.   
  
"Yes. Thank you", Quatre replied back. Looking at the monitors around him, he could see Trowa's mobile suit preparing to take off as well. He smiled and relaxed into the seat a bit more. "Mobile 104...taking off now."   
  
With the ease that comes only with practice, Quatre smoothly guided the suit into the air. He was rising steadily; ten thousand feet, thirty thousand feet. He braced himself as he left Earth's gravitational pull. In less than twenty minutes, he was in space.   
  
"Ready?", Trowa asked over the intercom system.   
  
Quatre sighed. "I suppose so. Remind me again why we're doing this."   
  
He could hear Trowa punching coordinates into his suit's control panel. "Obligation. Sense of duty. Lack of anything better to do. Take your pick."   
  
"You'd better watch out, love. You're almost getting a sense of humor in your old age." Quatre smiled and began programming his own suit. "So, just how many troops are meeting us at L4?"   
  
"15 was what I heard", Trowa replied. "Did you get to speak to Relena last night?"   
  
"For a few minutes. She was about to put Adia to bed, I think. That child...she looks more like Heero every time I see her", he replied, settling back into his seat. "I wonder if she'll ever get to know..." He stopped.   
  
But Trowa didn't need to hear the rest of his sentence to know what he was thinking. "If he can, Heero will find a way."   
  
Quatre nodded, even though Trowa couldn't see it. "I know. Still...it's been nearly two years...I'm rather inclined to think the worst at this point." He paused for a second. "But suppose he did show up today...can you imagine what that would be like? 'Welcome home, Heero. We're still at war, Relena's the president now and by the way, you have a one year old daughter'. I'm not sure even Heero Yuy could handle all of that."   
  
Trowa made a sound that was halfway between agreement and amusement. "At least he'd be there."   
  
"Quit being so reasonable", Quatre teased. His monitor beeped. "Oh no. We've got company."   
  
"I'm way ahead of you", Trowa replied. When he flicked on his outside monitors once again, Quatre could see his lover's mobile suit systematically take down two nearly identical suits, painted red and white, the rebellion's colors. "That was easy", he continued when he was done.   
  
"A little too easy." Quatre's body tensed. "Let's keep an even closer eye from now on. I'd hate to be snuck up on from behind."   
  
*********  
  
The guards were on edge. He could tell from the way they were clumping together, talking in low tones as he and the other men worked. They didn't usually keep such a wayward eye, but today they were definitely distracted. He wondered why; was there something coming? The idea of liberation was such a foriegn one that he had never taken the time to wish for it. When all you could remember was captivity, freedom didn't hold that much appeal.   
  
He returned to his work, programming parts for some sort of machine. From the time he could remember, he had shown skill with computers although he had no idea where he had gained such knowledge. His fingers flew over the keys of the laptop assigned to him, but his mind was still on the worried guards.   
  
The war that he had come to understand was being waged...had it finally reached wherever he was? Would he perhaps someday get to leave here? To go out into whatever the real world was...perhaps even find out who he was? Find out who she was?  
  
He shook his head and tried to concentrate on his work. It didn't really matter who he was. No one else seemed to care; why should he? In all likelihood, he *wasn't* anyone. Maybe he had no family, no friends...maybe she was just a dream. Perhaps he was better off not knowing.   
  
Suddenly, there was a loud explosion from above. He raised his arms instinctively to shield his eyes as the very ground beneath him shook. The guards panicked; people were running all around him in a frantic attempt at escape.   
  
"They're here!", he heard one guard shout. "Retreat!"  
  
"What about them?", another man yelled, gesturing to the work area.   
  
The first man replied, "Forget them. It doesn't matter what happens to them. Get moving!"   
  
He stood up, computer forgotten. In all the shouting and cries, he could hear the sounds of gunfire from somewhere nearby, and also the strangely familiar sound of metal crunching. Another explosion rocked the foundation; he gripped onto his work table for support.   
  
Through the smoke that now filled the room, he could make out the bulky, awkward shapes of several mobile machines. He blinked. They were so much like the ones in his dreams, only perhaps not as sophisticated. They stopped in front of the frightened group of prisoners, their huge bodies looking around as if trying to locate targets.   
  
A door swung open on one of the machines; a man stepped out from inside of it. "My name is Quatre Raberba Winner", he yelled to the prisoners. "I represent the United Alliance of Earth. You are all liberated under the rule of President Relena Peacecraft."   
  
He squinted up at the blond man. What was he saying? He was freeing them? Why did the man's voice tug at his brain? He felt the man's gaze sweep over the people, settling on him for an extra beat. Their stare was broken by a bullet that slammed into the blond man's shoulder.   
  
He swung his head around to see who had shot this Quatre Raberba Winner. One of the guards crouched behind an upturned work table, gun in hand. He made a motion to attack the guard; for some strange reason, he felt the overwhelming desire to. But before he could, the wounded man pulled a pistol from his flight suit, aimed and fired a direct hit at his attacker. The guard cried out and fell to the ground, mortally wounded.   
  
Blood rapidly stained the blond man's flight suit, but he ignored it and simply put a hand over the wound. He jerked his head and the two machines behind him advanced forward, in search of more snipers. Only one stayed behind and another man stepped out from inside of it. He and the blond man exchanged a few words.   
  
He watched them. Their conversation became heated. It seemed as though the blond man was trying to tell his friend something, but the man with the long bangs shook his head slowly. After a moment, the blond man, still holding his hand over the bullet wound in his shoulder, began to climb down from his machine. He hit the ground with only a grunt of pain and started to make his way through the workers. Most let him pass easily, so stunned were they by their long-awaited freedom. Freedom he had given them. Others reached out for the blond man, as though afraid he was just a figment of their imaginations. He paused to recognize them, but quickly pushed on.  
  
Quatre Raberba Winner's path led straight to him.   
  
He stopped a few feet away and just stared for a long moment. His face held a look of surprise, wonder, confusion; sweat beaded his forehead, plastering down his long, blond bangs. His breath was labored as he struggled against what had to be a painful wound. But the tears he saw in the man's sea colored eyes weren't ones of pain.   
  
"Is it really you?", Quatre Raberba Winner whispered. "Can it really be you?" A smile spread across his face. "Heero...." Suddenly, the man hugged him; his blood was warm against his skin. "You're alive! Heero....Allah be praised!"   
  
He blinked as the blond man pulled away after a moment. "Who are you?"  
  
********  
  
"What are we going to do?" Quatre stared at the man across the room. Heero Yuy. The long absent man sat by the thick glass window of the shuttle's anteroom, staring out into the vacuum of space. A piece of bread was in his hand, but he wasn't eating even though Quatre suspected, from his thin body, that he needed to.   
  
Trowa wrapped another layer of gauze around his lover's wound. "We need to contact Relena. She should know, before anyone else."   
  
"What are we supposed to say to her? How on earth do you tell someone this? That the man they love can't remember *anything* about them?" Quatre flinched as the gauze pulled against the broken flesh of his arm. "It will kill her inside." He swallowed heavily. "Believe me...I know."   
  
Trowa stopped for a second before kissing the top of Quatre's blond head. "I know you know", he said softly.  
  
Quatre closed his eyes. "Still, we can't keep it from her."   
  
"No. We can't." Satisfied that the bandage would hold, Trowa tied off the gauze. "Do you want me to talk to her?"   
  
"Thanks. But I can do this." He stood up, carefully testing just how far he could stretch his wounded arm. "Maybe you could take him...Heero out of here. I don't think she needs to see him just yet."   
  
His lover nodded in agreement. After a few minutes, Quatre watched Trowa lead Heero out of the anteroom, leaving him to the daunting task ahead. With a sigh, Quatre sat at the desk and used his good arm to punch up the communicator screen.   
  
"Connect me to the private office of President Peacecraft. Security override code: QW4-12", he instructed the computer.   
  
In a moment, Relena's lovely face came into view on the screen. Her eyes moistened upon seeing him. "Quatre!"   
  
He smiled wearily. "You're a sight for sore eyes, Relena."   
  
"Oh thank God you're all right, Quatre!" She wiped at her cheeks. "We hadn't heard anything about the battle...I was getting so worried!"   
  
"The battle was...rough. Six days if you don't count today." He shifted in his chair, wincing in pain as his arm moved too far in the wrong direction.   
  
She noticed. "*Are* you all right?!"   
  
"Oh...it's not as bad as it looks, I promise. Just a stray bullet." Quatre leaned forward. "Relena..."   
  
"Trowa!", she cut him off. "Is Trowa all right?"   
  
"Trowa's fine. We're both fine and we have L4. But Relena....there's something I have to tell you."   
  
Relena visibly stiffened. "What is it?"   
  
He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Relena..." He paused. "We found him."   
  
All color drained from the President's face. "What?", she whispered when she found breath to speak.   
  
"Heero. He's here, on L4. We found him, Relena."   
  
"Oh God..." She put a hand to her mouth. Her blue eyes were wide, filling with hot tears. Quatre wanted to reach out to her; she looked as though she were about to faint. "He's...he's not dead? He's alive!" The tears spilled over as her eyes closed. "Heero...."   
  
Quatre looked up at the ceiling to blink back his own tears. "Relena, there's more."  
  
She shook her head. A smile was rapidly spreading on her tear streaked face. "It doesn't matter. Whatever it is, it can wait. He's alive, Quatre!!"   
  
"Relena..."   
  
"Quatre...he's coming home!! He..."  
  
"He doesn't remember anything."   
  
As the seconds passed in silence, Quatre watched Relena's smile die. "What do you mean?" Her voice wobbled dangerously. When after a long time he still hadn't answered, she pressed further. "Quatre, what does that mean?"   
  
Quatre ran his hand through his hair. "We'll have to get him to a doctor, but I think it's amnesia. Complete amnesia. He didn't recognize me or Trowa. When we asked him a few questions, he couldn't answer any of them. The only thing he seems to remember is being in the colony's work camp." He paused. "I'm so sorry, Relena."   
  
"He can't....can't remember me? He can't remember....anything?" New tears sprung up, but the joy behind them was long since dead.  
  
The look in her eyes made Quatre want to hit something. *She should not have to go through this*, he said to himself. *Not after everything that's happened.* "I'm sorry", he repeated.  
  
She spoke again, her voice faint and detached. "Bring him home, Quatre."   
  
"Relena, I..."  
  
"Adia needs him." Relena's watery eyes were vacant. "She needs a father. And he couldn't have forgotten about something he never knew existed."   
  
Quatre swallowed heavily. "What about you, Relena?"   
  
She shook her head, but it was just motion, no feeling behind it. "Doesn't matter."  
  
"Relena...stop. Tell me what you're thinking because you're not making any sense." Quatre leaned closer to the screen. "Don't shut down, Relena."   
  
"I have to", she whispered. "I'm hanging by a thread...." Her eyes closed. "Bring him home. We'll go from there."   
  
"Relena..", he began again.   
  
"Safe journey, Quatre." The screen went blank.   
  
He sat for a long a moment after she had gone. Without thinking, he picked up a paperweight from the desk and hurtled it across the room. It shattered as he cried out in pain. Clutching his wounded arm, he pressed another button on the communicator pad, calling the shuttle's pilot. "Let's go home", he managed to order.   
  
*********  
  
It was well past midnight when Relena finally worked up the courage to go to him. It had taken an hour of completely silent thought at her desk before she felt confident enough. She hated herself for having taken even that long. Although he had been in her home for half a day, she hadn't been able to bring herself to face him.   
  
It wasn't as though he was missing her.   
  
She couldn't put it off any longer. The need to see him was too great. If he was asleep, she reasoned, it would be much easier.   
  
The carpeted hallways masked the sounds of her shoes and kept her from being heard as she made her way through the mansion to the wing where she had asked that Heero be put. She was especially quiet as she opened the door to his room; Quatre and Trowa were just next door, at her request. She hadn't wanted Heero to be all alone in the house.   
  
Even breathing filled the dark room. She still remembered that sound. A lump formed in her throat, but she valiantly fought it back as she closed the door behind her and approached the bed.  
  
His face hadn't changed much. It was, perhaps, a little more weathered. Overworked. But the features were still exactly as she remembered. Nose, cheeks, lips...all so perfectly sculpted. His hair was shaggy from years of neglect; the bangs were longer. But they still hung over his forehead in the familiar patterns. In sleep, he was so beautiful.   
  
"Heero?", she whispered. When he didn't answer, she continued. "Sleep, darling. I have a lot to tell you....and I'd rather you not be awake."   
  
Relena carefully sat on the edge of the bed next to his sleeping body. Her hands ached to touch him, but she folded them in her lap primly. "Quatre said you don't remember anything. From before. The doctor who examined you after you arrived told me...that you have amnesia." Her breath caught in the back of her throat. "And that you might never remember."   
  
It was too hard. She bit her lip to keep from crying. Mentally chiding herself for her weakness, she forced herself to continue. "You left...you left me almost two years ago. A year and nine months if you want to be precise. You were going on a mission..." She stopped. "But you never got there. And you never came back."   
  
"We tried to find you. Sent out search parties, interrogated captured colonists. But...no one knew anything. You had just disappeared. I wanted to keep looking...but that was around the time when..." Relena smiled. "When I found out I was pregnant."   
  
She watched him for any sign of reaction. None came; he was truly and deeply asleep. "You know, I fainted when I found out", she told him. "I even..." Relena's fingernails dug into her palms. "I even considered...not having the baby. I hope someday...if you can remember...you'll forgive me for that. But I was 21 years old, unmarried and a world leader. A baby...I didn't know what to do. I was worried about what people would think...what they would say."   
  
"It was Quatre who convinced me not to do it. He reminded me...just how precious life is. And that I shouldn't throw it away because of what others might think. It's too great a gift, life. If you could remember Duo, you'd understand. So, I didn't do it. And I haven't ever regretted my decision." A tiny laugh escaped her lips. "Not even when the reactions came...and my God did they ever come. I think I'm still the favorite piece of gossip."   
  
Relena idly rubbed the marks her nails had made in her palm. "It was the hardest nine months of my life. But I wasn't alone. Like you told me once, I had my brother and Lucy. Quatre and Trowa. They were all there when she was born. Well, Millardo and Trowa were just outside the room. Even Wufei was there, but only because he was woken up along with Sally Po when she was called to help me. It's amazing, Heero...how happy he is. I never thought he would be after losing his leg. I suppose something like that has to change a man. Either for good or for bad. He's become a...true friend." The memories made her smile. "It wasn't a hard birth. Well, that's according to Sally. But, Heero..." She shook her head. "Maybe it was a good thing you weren't there."   
  
"I named our daughter Adia Marie. Two names synonomous with peace." Relena sighed. "I wanted her last name to be Yuy. But she's Adia Marie Peacecraft. It's probably better that way."   
  
"She's so beautiful, Heero. I know...all mothers say that about their children. But she really is. It's like someone took the best parts of both of us and put them into this one perfect creature. I want you to see her. Maybe if you do, you'll see that and then you'll be able to..." She stopped. "I don't know what I'm saying. I haven't really been all that coherent since I found out..."   
  
She could no longer sit. It was getting too painful to be so close to him, yet not be able to touch him. Relena stood and went to the window. "I want to tell you so much more. I mean, I *could* tell you everything I know. How we met, what you were doing during the war, how you came back to me. I could tell you all about your friends, the other Gundam pilots. Duo..." She took a breath. "I could tell you what kind of man you were. I could tell you how much I loved you. How much I still love you. But none of it matters, Heero! It doesn't matter if you can't remember!! They'll just be stories to you! I don't want that."   
  
Relena walked back to him. His chest still rose and fell in peaceful sleep. "I spent two years of my life dreaming about having you this close to me again. And now that I do...it hurts more than when you were gone and I was all alone." She sat next to him again. "But I'm not giving up on you. We will do everything we can to make you remember. Everything."   
  
Unable to hold back anymore, she reached one hand out and brushed his bangs away from his forehead. "I love you so much, Heero. And I know that at one time, you loved me. You didn't think I heard you that night, right before you left, but I did. I don't think I could have survived the past two years if I hadn't heard that." Her gentle touch moved from his forehead down to the hand that lay at his side. Her fingers glanced against his.   
  
As she looked down at their hands, she frowned. There was something different about his. Gently, she picked his hand up and brought it into the moonlight where she could see it better. Tattooed on the flesh of his inner wrist was a series of numbers and letters. "Oh God...Heero!", she whispered. They had branded him like some sort of animal. A tear fell down her cheek and splashed onto his skin. "How could they do that to you?"   
  
He had no reply for her, except to turn his head into a different position. She set his hand back down onto the comforter and leaned forward. "It's over now. Whatever they did to you, you're safe here...with me. I promise."   
  
She was so close, she could feel his breath on her lips. *It would be so easy*, her heart cried. *Just a little kiss...he might not even wake up!* Relena closed her eyes and parted her lips.   
  
Two strong hands grabbed her shoulders, pushing her away. Her eyes flew open. Heero was sitting up right in bed, his eyes cold, a death grip on her slender body. "What do you think you're doing?"   
  
Hot tears stung her eyes, not only from his words, but from his fingers digging into her skin. "Heero...Heero, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."   
  
His head jerked a bit. "Who are you? Why are you here?"   
  
"I just...wanted to see you", she said as calmly as possible. His grip tightened and she couldn't hold back her cry of pain. "Heero!"  
  
With a little growl, he let go of her. Relena's shoulders sagged; she would definitely be bruised in the morning. "Why do you keep calling me that?", he asked.   
  
Unconciously, she rubbed her shoulder. "It's...it's your name."   
  
"My name?", he repeated suspiciously. "Heero."   
  
She nodded, biting her lip. "Heero Yuy."   
  
Heero thought for a moment. "You still haven't told me who you are. And why the hell you're here."   
  
"I know...you don't know me, Heero. I shouldn't have come here at all. I..." She was cut off by his hand touching her cheek. Instinctively, she recoiled. Her shoulders throbbed, reminding her of just what that hand was capable of doing.   
  
"Are you afraid of me?", he asked in a voice that was half taunting and half genuine curiousity. She shook her head. His hand reached for her again, touching her chin. "You look so much like..." He stopped and looked down at the covers.  
  
"Like who?", she whispered. Her heart was in her throat.   
  
His head rose. "No one. She doesn't exist; she's not real. I'm free. I don't need her anymore." His eyes smoldered. "But you're here..." Heero ran his tongue across his lips, wetting them. "You're right here..."   
  
"Heero?", Relena asked, warily. He didn't reply, so intent was he on studying her face. "Heero...", she repeated.   
  
"Don't call me that", he ordered in a low tone. His eyelids lowered as he pressed his mouth against hers. The kiss was rough, almost animalistic. And she loved it. A shiver ran down her spine as his demanding tongue explored the farthest recesses of her mouth. He pulled her body to his, crushing her breasts against his bare chest.   
  
Without breaking the kiss, he rolled her over onto her back. His body was solid over hers; her arms lifted and wrapped around his neck. His mouth left hers, nipping and biting its way down the length of her throat. She gasped at the pain-tinged sensations, so unlike the gentle caresses she remembered from two years before. It was not an unwelcome change, she decided as he sucked the skin over her collarbone.   
  
His hands fumbled with the top button of her blouse. When it refused to come undone, he grabbed a handful of material and pulled, ripping the blouse apart. He wasted no time with tenderness. His lips found one nipple through the satin of her bra; his tongue madly laved it. Relena's back arched off the mattress. He took the opportunity to reach behind her and tear apart the hooks of the annoying garment that seperated his mouth from her skin.   
  
She helped him push the bra and what remained of the blouse off her body, exposing every inch of her torso to his desire-enflamed eyes. Heero pulled back as if savoring the moment. His hands ran over her milky-white flesh. She closed her eyes as his fingers brushed across the tips of her breasts. They were bigger now, as a result of having had Adia. She wished he knew this.   
  
Taking her waist in his hands, he lifted her body as he lowered his mouth to her stomach. His tongue traced pattens on the delicate skin, dipping every now and then into her navel. He moved his mouth up to the flesh between her breasts, but refused to touch the aching centers. She moaned in protest, eyes firmly shut.   
  
The creature beneath him was breathtaking. It was obvious that she knew him; why else would she let him touch her this way? Desire coursed through his veins, a foreign feeling. He wanted to take her right then, to free himself from that desire. Something nagged at the back of his brain, telling him to take his time with this woman. She was special.   
  
He shook his head violently as his mouth captured one nipple, sucking roughly. He didn't know this woman; he didn't owe her any kindness. She was there and he wanted her. And by the noises she was making in the back of her throat, he knew she wanted him too.   
  
Now if only she would stop calling him "Heero".   
  
He wanted her. She felt the evidence of his desire pressing into her belly. Perhaps there was some little part of him that remembered their night together. How many nights had she lain in bed and hoped for this sort of moment? She knew that she really shouldn't be doing this. She should wait until he remembered again and they could make love. But when his hand grasped her inner thigh, she abandoned the thought. *I deserve this*, she told conscience. *I deserve this pleasure.*  
  
She repeated this to herself as he divulged her of the rest of her clothing. He had been sleeping in the nude; his skin felt heavenly against hers. Her legs parted through no will of her own; she kissed him deeply as she felt him join their bodies.   
  
He thought he would lose control when she let him enter her. One of the other prisoners had told him once that the answers to all the mysteries and problems of the world could be solved in the arms and between the legs of a woman. Now he realized...the solutions weren't actually there; it was just that nobody gave a damn about the world when buried inside a woman's body. He tried to stay still, to prolong the feeling. But it wasn't even a minute before he felt the need to move.  
  
It was just as she remembered, minus the initial pain. The feeling of being entirely filled by him...it brought tears to her eyes. He wasn't moving; his face was locked in concentration. Taking the initiative, she raised her hips. Her move worked; he slowly began thrusting. Relena gasped as each forward motion of his hips brought him deeper inside her body. It wasn't deep enough. She hooked her legs around his waist, drawing him in further.   
  
He looked down at the woman below him. Her eyes were closed; her teeth frantically worked at her full bottom lip. Her golden hair was spread across the pillow. So familiar.... His hand reached down and twisted a few strands around his fingers, pulling the soft silk over her shoulder and down to her breast. He brushed her hair across her nipple. The strange sensation made her cry out. "Heero!"   
  
"Don't call me that." He released her hair and slid his hands under her body, lifting her back off the mattress as he continued to thrust himself into her. Burying his face in the crook of her neck, he bit down on a patch of her skin.   
  
The feel of his teeth sent her over the edge. Intense pleasure, long forgotten, washed over her entire being. She wrapped herself around Heero as it momentarily took her mind away from him. She could hear herself screaming his name into his shoulder, but it would be awhile before she cared if anyone heard her.   
  
Feeling her tightening around him brought on his own release. Clutching her small frame, he cried out, his vocalized pleasure muffled by her hair. After several long seconds, he relaxed and lowered her back to the bed. He rested his cheek against her breast.   
  
They lay, still joined, as they caught their breath. She felt him falling asleep against her body, as he thought she had done the last time they had been together. This time, however, she was far from sleepy. If she closed her eyes, the spell might be broken. And she might wake up, only to find herself alone.   
  
"Who are you?", he murmured into her perspiring skin.   
  
She kissed the top of his head. "Someone who loves you."   
  
*********  
  
The dream came to him again. *She* came to him again, with her hair so long, eyes so full...full of what?   
  
"Who are you?", he called out. She had no reply; she simply held out her hand. "Go away! I don't need you anymore!!"   
  
The look she gave him cut deeper than he would have liked. She was hurting. He made a motion to step forward, but found himself still stuck in place. "Auughhhh!!!", he screamed. "Get out of my head!!!!"   
  
"She can't, buddy."   
  
The voice...it was new, yet somehow familiar. He swiveled his head around, scanning the emptiness. "Who is that?"   
  
"She's an eagle...", the voice continued.   
  
"And a sparrow", he found himself saying. He blinked before shaking his head. "What the hell...?"   
  
The unidentified man laughed merrily. The laugh...the priest with the braided hair. "Let me help you."   
  
"Who are you?", he asked again. He looked back at the woman; she was slowly fading away, arm still stretched out towards him. "What is all of this?" He grabbed his head with both hands. "Why can't you leave me alone??!!!"   
  
********  
  
He woke with a start, bolting upright in bed. A fine sheen of sweat stuck to his body as he caught his breath. After a moment, he frowned. Where was he? Nothing looked familiar; the room he was in was rich. Large, soft bed, heavy curtains, gilded furniture. Certainly nothing like the barracks of his work camp.   
  
It was then that he remembered. His rescue, being brought to this huge house on the sea by the two men. What were their names? Quatre and something. He wiped his brow with the back of his hand before using it to prop himself up. The space he set it down on was empty. A memory tugged at his mind. Someone had been here, not too long ago. The woman who had called him Heero.   
  
He could smell her perfume on the sheets, on his skin. There was evidence all around that she had been there, but she was gone now. Growling in frustration, he flipped the sheet off his naked body and stood up. A quick search led him to clothes that had been laid out for him; he dressed rapidly. He wanted answers....immediately.   
  
And she seemed to have at least a few.   
  
The hallway outside the room he was occupying was silent and empty. But he knew there was someone staying next door to him; he had heard voices speaking before he had fallen asleep the night before. Just then, the doorknob to that very room began to turn; someone was getting ready to step into the hall. Thinking quickly, he flattened himself up against the wall next to the door, lying in wait.   
  
The man with the long brown bangs stepped out. Trowa...that was his name. He was concentrating on a small, hand-held computer, punching numbers in as he shut the door behind him. And he wasn't even aware that anyone was near him, until he was grabbed from behind.   
  
Trowa barely reacted to the hand around his mouth and the death grip on his arm. The computer fell to the carpeted floor. He didn't try to fight; he simply let whatever was going to happen next, happen.   
  
"Take me to see her." After a second's pause, he let the hand over Trowa's mouth fall.   
  
"Her, Heero?", Trowa repeated, completely non-plussed by the entire situation.   
  
Heero tightened his hold, illiciting no reaction from Trowa. "Yes, her. The woman...you know who I'm talking about. I want to see her....now."   
  
Trowa sighed. Suddenly, he jerked his arm out of Heero's grip, grabbing ahold of the other man's hand and twisting it around. The tables had been turned and Heero found himself wondering how. "Fine", Trowa said in a calm, detatched voice. "I will. But if you ever try that stealth shit again, you will regret it." *Amnesia or not*, he thought to himself.  
  
Heero scowled and struggled against Trowa's grip. "Just take me to her."   
  
He was about to let go of his old friend's arm when Trowa noticed something. On Heero's wrist there was a tattoo of several numbers and letters. 367YH119. His eyes narrowed slightly.   
  
"What?", Heero snapped. With a sudden burst of energy, he wrestled his arm away from the other man.   
  
Trowa blinked before bending down to retrieve his small computer. "Nothing. Follow me."   
  
*********  
  
"So, she took a handful of cake and just hurtled it at little David", Relena laughed, recounting the tale of Adia's first birthday party to Quatre. "We have it all recorded; you have to watch it sometime. The look on David's face, not to mention Millardo's as he realizes a tiny girl has just bested his son at a cake fight, is priceless."   
  
Quatre laughed and jostled the knee Adia was perched upon. Relena's daughter squealed happily as she bounced up and down. "Miss Adia, you are a terror with the face of an angel", he told her. She giggled as if she understood him. He carefully gathered her back into his arms. "Where are Millardo and Lucy?"  
  
"Taking a much needed Christmas vacation", Relena replied. "They took the boys away for the weekend. I wouldn't let them tell anyone where, so no one would disturb them."   
  
"You're such a good sister", Quatre transferred Adia to his other arm. Even the pain medication he was on wasn't enough to let him hold her with his wounded side. "Oh, I almost forgot to ask. Does Miss Adia like her sandbox?"   
  
"She loves it", Relena assured him. "She'd be out there now if she had any say in it. But it's just a little bit too cold. When you buy a present, you buy a present, Quatre."   
  
He smiled as Adia grabbed a long bang of his blond hair and tugged. "I loved playing in the sand when I was her age. I'm glad she does, too. And when she gets older, I hope she'll like the jungle gym part, and not just the sand."   
  
"I'm sure she will. Did I tell you she already tried to climb it? I nearly had a heart attack when I caught her toddling her way over to..." Relena was cut off by a loud knock on her office door. She gave Quatre a strange look before calling out, "Come in."   
  
Trowa poked his head in the room. He wasted no words...she was beginning to think it was an unbreakable Gundam pilot trait. "Relena...he wants to see you."   
  
The President's face instantly paled. "He...? Um..." She looked at Quatre for help.  
  
Her friend looked down at the baby in his arms. "Don't you think it's time she met him?"   
  
Relena nodded. She didn't trust her voice to reply. Trowa opened the door further.   
  
Heero stalked into the room, dressed in the pants and shirt Relena had dug up in her room from those blissful weeks before the war had begun. Seeing him in the daylight, in her office, in those clothes...it was almost too much. If not for Adia, it would have been like stepping back in time. She found she couldn't meet his glare. "Good morning", she greeted him, softly.   
  
He folded his arms over his chest. "Who are you?"   
  
She took as much air into her lungs as she could. "Don't you want to know who you are first?"   
  
"You've already told me what you think my name is. You screamed it in..."   
  
Trowa spoke up before Heero could finish his sentence. "She just wants to help. You should be grateful."   
  
Heero's stormy blue eyes narrowed again. "I want to know who all of you are and why you've brought me here."  
  
Relena forced herself to look up at him. "Where would you rather be?"   
  
"Anywhere." His voice was as cold as his stare. "Anything has to be better than trading one prison for another." He moved his stare up and down her body. "Even if being here has certain...perks."   
  
She found her arms crossing unconciously across her chest. "If you want to go, so be it. You're not my prisoner. You never have been."   
  
"Relena...", Quatre began.   
  
"No, it's all right. If he wants to leave, I won't try to stop him." Relena stood and approached Heero. "Is that really what you want?"  
  
"I want answers", he replied. "And if you don't give them to me, I'll go *find* them."   
  
They watched each other for several long seconds. The words refused to come to her. She should do it; she should tell him everything. But the man in front of her wasn't her Heero, not really. He wouldn't be until he could remember...on his own. "I'm sorry", she finally said.   
  
Heero's lip curled disdainfully. A dark glare upon his face, he backed up and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him as hard as he could.   
  
There was silence after he left, broken by Adia. The little girl looked at the abnormally quiet adults, a huge tear forming in each of her wide, blue eyes. She whimpered; the whimper turned quickly into loud cries. Quatre snapped out of his momentary reverie. "Shhh, Adia. It's all right." The baby paid no heed to his soothing tone and continued to wail. "Relena?"   
  
She blinked. "I'm sorry", she repeated as she took her daughter from him. Even in her mother's arms, Adia continued to cry. Relena gently rocked the baby, her cheek pressed against the little girl's temple. She kissed Adia's curls as her own tears began to fall. "He didn't even look at you, did he?"   
  
********  
  
He wasn't quite sure how he got there, but soon he found himself outside of the house. The patio he stood on looked out over sprawling, winter gardens. The wind was cold...refreshing. A reflection pond stretched across the garden, nearly frozen in the December air. He couldn't explain it, but a bit of his inner turmoil settled as he stood in silence for several long minutes.   
  
His mind wandered back to the encounter in her office. He had only seen her twice, but somehow the woman had the power to get under his skin. It infuriated him.   
  
"Relena", he repeated the name by which the blond man, Quatre, had addressed her. He looked down at his hands. The hands she had allowed to touch her. If she knew him well enough to let him take her like that, why couldn't she tell him anything about himself? What was she afraid of? A dark part of him wanted to make her divulge everything she knew, by sheer physical force if necessary.   
  
*Let me help you.*  
  
"Braided baka", he found himself whispering. His brow furred. Where had that come from? He put a hand to his forehead. Things just below the surface of his mind threatened to boil over; he felt their strain. His gaze lifted to the blue sky as if by staring at it, the answers would come to him.  
  
There was something there. It was no more than quick, silver flash but for some reason, it made his blood run colder than the reflection pool's water. Slowly, he backed up until he was inside the house again. There was a flurry of activity, uniformed men and women running to and fro...it reminded him of the days leading up to his liberation from what he had been told was a colony work camp.  
  
Something was coming. And it wasn't welcome.   
  
********  
  
After Colony 203  
Earth  
  
"How many?"  
  
"At least two dozen mobile suits, quite probably more."  
  
"And our defenses...?"  
  
"Limited. Most of our soliders are on leave for the holidays."  
  
"How long will it take to recall them?"  
  
"Could be hours, Ms. President."   
  
"The enemy's ETA?"  
  
"At the most, an hour before they break through our first line of defense. Don't even ask me how they got into the Earth's atmosphere at all. We're investigating that."   
  
Relena closed her eyes as she processed the information. "Suggestions, Colonel Geraw?"  
  
Her Chief Minister of Domestic Affairs sighed. "Unsure, Ms. President. We'll try our best to stave them off for as long as possible. But until the troops return, I'm afraid there's not too much we can do." He paused. "This attack was....well planned."   
  
"Perhaps..."  
  
Colonel Geraw cleared his throat. "I'd like to have you moved to a safer location, Ms. President. You and your family."   
  
Relena opened her eyes. "I appreciate that. But I don't intend to pick up and flee when my people need me the most. We'll be staying here."   
  
The handsome colonel's brow crinkled with uncertaintly. "Ms. President..."  
  
"I promise you, Colonel. My safety is not going to be an issue." Relena looked at Trowa, sitting on her office couch, arms tightly folded.   
  
"Yes, ma'am", Geraw gave in, reluctantly. "I will keep you fully posted on the situation."   
  
"Thank you." The communicator screen became blank.   
  
"They've upped the ante", Trowa commented after a long second of silence.   
  
Relena nodded wearily. "It would appear that the colonists are tired of playing defense. Now it's our turn." With a sigh, she stood up.   
  
Trowa unfolded, then refolded his arms. "How did they get into our atmosphere?"   
  
"That is the question", Relena quipped. "It's being investigated."   
  
Her old friend's eyes narrowed into two slits. "Hmm", was all the response he gave.   
  
The office door opened unexpectedly. Relena jumped, but quickly relaxed upon seeing Quatre in the door's frame. "Did Adia go down for her nap without giving you too much trouble?" The lightness in her words was strained.   
  
Quatre smiled faintly. "The nurse is still trying to get her to sleep." He shut the door behind him and walked to Trowa, accepting the man's comforting hand around his waist. "Call me crazy, but I think she knows what's going on."   
  
Relena attempted a smile of her own. "I wish she could tell me, then."   
  
"It's bad...isn't it?" Quatre's voice was soft. Relena nodded in reply. He looked at Trowa. An unspoken agreement was reached when their eyes met, a result of their long, intimate relationship. "Trowa and I are going to help the defense fleet."   
  
Relena looked back and forth at the two men, so stoic in their determination to do whatever they could for the Earth, together. Blinking back tears, she nodded. "Just please...please be careful. If I lost..." She choked. "I can't lose anymore...people I love."   
  
Quatre moved to embrace her as tightly as his wounded arm would let him. "We won't let them get past us, Relena."   
  
"We have a lot to protect here", Trowa added.   
  
Relena approached him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."   
  
Quatre smiled at this, but the smile faded as a thought came to him. "What about Heero?"  
  
"What about him?" Relena's voice was surprisingly detached.   
  
The men exchanged another look. "Has anyone seen him since he stormed off?", Quatre asked.   
  
Relena shrugged in an effort to maintain her cool. "I really don't know." After a moment, her blank expression dissolved, unable to keep up the pretense of apathy where Heero was concerned. "I can't let myself think about Heero right now. If he's still here, good. If he's left..." She stopped.   
  
"We understand." Trowa looked at Quatre.  
  
"Wish us luck", his partner said, leaning in to kiss Relena's cheek.   
  
"I wish you more than mere luck", Relena replied, her eyes glistening with new tears.  
  
After a pause, the two men left the room, bound for the basement headquaters and the mobile suit fleet that was housed there.   
  
Relena closed her eyes. "I wish you didn't have to go."  
  
********  
  
Heero wandered aimlessly around the manor like a shadow. The uniformed men and women were in a state of near panic; they passed by him without so much as a glance. Anonymity: both a comforting and frightening reality. But, because of his relative invisibility, he learned what was happening.   
  
"When do you think they'll be here?", one woman asked another soldier as they quickly headed down a long hallway to the staircase. From his place in a deep doorway, Heero could just make out the man's reply.   
  
"Thirty minutes, so they say. All the mobile suits are on full alert." The couple moved out of hearing distance.   
  
As soon as they were gone, another group of soldiers, comprised of two men and a woman, walked past him.   
  
"....hear that Commanders Barton and Winner are leading the defense fleet?"   
  
The uniformed woman touched a hand to her heart. "That makes me feel a little better. You know they were Gundam pilots, right?"   
  
"That's just a rumor, Sariah", the third man scoffed. "Haven't all records of that been..." They rounded a corner and disappeared. The hallway became eerily quiet, leaving Heero to his jumbled thoughts.   
  
*Gundam.*  
  
The word stuck to his mind, refusing to dissipate. Gundam. Was it a type of plane? The soldiers had said the captains were pilots of Gundams. The first two had mentioned mobile suits, also. Could a Gundam be a mobile suit?   
  
He felt like he should know, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Running a hand down his face, he looked up at the ceiling in frustration. Gundam.   
  
There was only one way to know for sure. He glanced up and down the hallway, before stepping out from the doorway and turning to the left. Slowly, deliberately, he began to follow the path of the first couple of soliders. To the mobile suits.  
  
********  
  
The harness in the mobile suit he was settling himself into was too loose. A bigger man must have been last to pilot it. Quatre found himself briefly wondering who it might have been. Obviously someone who had returned from the battlefield, but perhaps had perished in another battle, with a different mobile suit. He shook his head as he painstakingly readjusted the harness straps to secure his body. Such thoughts were no good when heading into battle, much less when getting ready to lead a battle.   
  
With the push of a button, the swinging doors of the mobile suit closed, sealing him into the suit's cockpit. A rush of adrenaline ran down his spine. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a small communicator screen pop up; Trowa's face looked back at him.   
  
"I'm going to lead ten suits to the east. You take fifteen over the ocean to the west", Trowa mapped out his plan.   
  
Quatre nodded. "How many suits are staying behind?"   
  
"Five." Trowa closed his eyes briefly. "She'll be all right, Quatre."   
  
"I know." After a pause, Quatre flipped a switch to project his voice to all the mobile suits under his command. "I'm Commander Quatre Winner. Commander Barton and I will be leading you all today. I don't have to tell you that the situation is highly dangerous. We have no idea who we're fighting or how many of them we'll be fighting. But I have faith in you all. Who is the second in command for each troop?"   
  
Two more screens popped up, just barely overlapping Trowa's face. "I'm your second in command, Commander Winner. Captain Eli Smith." A young man, perhaps only a few years younger than him   
  
An even younger girl smiled at him from the second screen. "I'm Captain Sariah Dagman...second in command to Commander Barton, sir."   
  
Quatre forced a return smile. "You both know what to do. Should anything happen to Commander Barton or myself...the mission is defend and protect. There is to be no direct attack on any enemy without instructions from the base or President Peacecraft herself. Understood?"   
  
"Yes sir", both youths replied before their screens disappeared.   
  
Bending his neck to one side and then the other, Quatre carefully placed his hands on the mobile suit's control grips. "West troop....pull out."   
  
Five minutes into the flight over the ocean, Captain Smith's face reappeared. "Sir...", he began. Fear was etched on his features. "Enemy spotted."   
  
"How many?"   
  
Smith checked something on his monitors. "Looks like twenty mobile suits. Colony suits, sir."   
  
Quatre took a breath. "We don't engage. We'll circle back around and see what they...." Suddenly, there was a blast dangerously close to the left side of his suit.   
  
"Sir!", Captain Smith shouted. "Are you all right?"  
  
"I'm fine. Send word to the base. Enemy spotted and engaged." Quatre wiped his brow. The battle was just beginning.  
  
********  
  
"Commander Barton....we have confirmation of direct attack on the first line of suits", Captain Dagman reported. "Your orders, sir?"   
  
Trowa lifted his head. "Inform the base. The battle's begun."   
  
********  
  
"Sir...two of our suits are down. We have no confirmation of any enemy suits destroyed." Captain Smith's voice was shrill. "Also sir...we were two miles out to sea...and now we're only a mile offshore."   
  
Quatre flicked his wrist, ignoring the pain from his wound, and sprayed a line of bullets at an unidentified enemy. "They're pushing us back....but for what reason?"   
  
Smith scratched his head. "Do you think they want us over land, sir?"   
  
"It would be far easier to fight over water, having no place to set a suit down", Quatre replied. "They're pushing us back to the base. We can not let them."  
  
"Yes sir."   
  
********  
  
"How many suits are down?"  
  
"Four, Commander Barton. Nothing seems to be destroying the enemy suits. It's like our firepower just bounces off of them. Like they were made of..."  
  
"Gundanium", Trowa finished the girl's sentence. "How far are we from the base?"   
  
Captain Dagman checked her monitors. "Five miles. They've pushed us back three miles already, sir. If this keeps up, we'll be fighting over the Manor."   
  
"I'm guessing that's just what they want."   
  
********  
  
"Commander Winner....there's mobile suits behind us." Captain Smith paused. "It's Commander Barton's troop, sir!!"   
  
Quatre's brow crinkled. "They've pushed us nearly back to the Manor. They seem to want us clumped together." He rubbed his temple. "Did we strategize wrong? Could we have prevented this?"   
  
"With all due respect, sir....we shouldn't be focusing on that right now. Two more of our suits are down."   
  
"Quatre." A screen with Trowa's face appeared in front of his eyeline. "Are you all right?"   
  
"Trowa", he whispered in relief. "Yes...I'm fine. They managed to push you back too."   
  
Trowa nodded. "I believe their suits are made of Gundanium. Our weapons are going to be useless against them."   
  
"What are you saying? Are you suggesting we surrender??" When Trowa didn't reply, he continued. "Reinforcements are on their way, Trowa. We just have to hold out a little bit...." Before he could finish his sentence, Trowa's screen disappeared. "Trowa? Trowa?!"   
  
Another screen replaced it, bearing Captain Dagman's pretty face. "Commander Winner....Commander Barton's been hit!"   
  
"No", Quatre whispered. "No...no...." His face was pale and his hands shook, but he readjusted his grip on the suit's controls. "Captain Smith....you're in charge of the troop. Keep them away from the Manor." Before the man could reply, Quatre dropped his suit out of flight mode, heading for the distant ground below.   
  
Flipping on his outside monitor, he carefully scanned the tree covered hills. Just when he was about to double back, he spotted smoke. "Trowa..."   
  
He landed his suit as close to the wreckage as he could. Ignoring his wound, he frantically worked at the harness holding him back. The door swung open and he bolted from the pilot seat into the sunlight.   
  
The smoke was coming from the right side of the suit. The terrific heat of the blast Trowa had been delivered had caused the metal to simply melt, sending the suit to the ground. Quatre was just relieved that the blast hadn't struck a few feet to the wrong side. "Trowa!", he called out, lowering himself from the cockpit of his suit.   
  
His arm throbbed in intense pain as he climbed up his lover's fallen suit. His fingers ran over the indentations the door made, but failed to find the exterior release button. "Trowa", he screamed, banging on the door. Without warning, the door fell open; Quatre barely had time to move aside. As soon as he could, he leaned into the cockpit. "Trowa....are you all right??"   
  
His partner was still securely fastened into his seat, although his head hung down to his chest. He coughed twice before looking up. "Quatre?" A trickle of blood ran down his cheek.   
  
"Don't worry...I'm going to get you out of here." Quatre ducked to step into the cramped cockpit. He pulled at Trowa's harness until it came undone. One arm slipped around the man's slender waist, hauling him out of his seat. "Can you walk at all?"   
  
Trowa nodded. Together, the two men stepped onto the platform created by the door. Quatre began to climb down first, holding onto Trowa's hand as he helped him follow a minute later. They landed on the ground and embraced. Quatre pulled back and ran his hand over his lover's face, examining him. He appeared to have gotten away with only minor cuts and bruises.   
  
"It's just my shoulder...it might be dislocated", Trowa assured him. "You didn't need to leave the troop."   
  
"Would you have stayed if it had been me?" Quatre waited for the expected shake of his lover's head. "All right then. We need to get back to the..." He stopped as Trowa's eyes grew wide. "Trowa?"   
  
"Run. Quatre...run." Trowa's hand tugged at his, pulling him forward. "Now!!"   
  
Out of instinct, Quatre's head swung around to see what he should be running from. A colony mobile suit waded through the trees on an evident 'search and destroy' mission. It didn't take genius to realize who the suit was searching to destroy. With their suits in plain sight, it would only be moments before they were spotted.   
  
They were defenseless unless they could get lost in the woods. Quatre felt Trowa pull at his hand again. "Quatre!!" But Quatre couldn't move. "Jesus...", Trowa breathed, in as close to a prayer as he had ever come.   
  
The mobile suit had targeted them.   
  
Trowa's arms wrapped around Quatre in an attempt to physically drag him to safety. The suit advanced forward. He managed to pull the blond man away just as a blast of firepower hit the spot they had just been standing in. Another blast landed to their other side. "Shit!"  
  
The men watched as the mobile suit located them once again. The blaster in its arm raised.   
  
There was a terrific explosion. Quatre shielded his eyes from the intense light. After a moment, he blinked. They were still alive. "Trowa?"   
  
His lover pointed to the colony suit, now badly damaged from the mysterious blast. "Someone got a direct hit." Trowa's green eyes scanned the area. "Was it one of the troop?"   
  
"No." Quatre pointed. "Look." The mystery suit flew over their heads. "I know that flight pattern." He wiped sweat from his brow. "That's Heero."   
  
Trowa shook his head. "Heero?"  
  
"Heero. Heero Yuy." A voice behind them laughed. Trowa and Quatre spun around. "He's a harder bastard to kill than you two are." The man addressing them stood in front of a group of soliders. A dozen guns were pointed at the two former Gundam pilots. They were surrounded.   
  
Quatre's brow crinkled. The man's face was familiar, but try as he did, he failed to place it. "What do you want?"   
  
"Isn't it obvious by now, Quatre Raberba Winner?" The man laughed again.   
  
A gleam ran across Trowa's eye. "I know who you are", he told the leader.   
  
The man cocked an eyebrow, smiled pleasantly and looked back at Quatre. "Hold onto your boy. He's going to need it."   
  
Before Quatre could open his mouth to reply, the man pulled a pistol from his belt, aimed and fired at Trowa, sending a bullet straight through his thigh. "Trowa!", Quatre cried as blood splattered across his body. Trowa took the bullet stoically, but after a second, he lost his balance. Quatre's arms kept him up.   
  
"Shit", Quatre heard his partner mutter into his vest.   
  
"Are you colonists?", Quatre shouted to the soldiers. "There are laws, you know....rules of warfare."   
  
The man chuckled. "You just...don't get it. Do you?" He looked up to see the strange mobile suit doubling back. Then, he glanced back at his soldiers. "Shoot down 01. Take 03 and 04 back to the Manor."   
  
Quatre didn't hear the explosion. His face was buried in Trowa's neck; his fingers worked at his lover's wound, attempting to stop the flow of blood. He felt a soldier pulling roughly at his arm. *Heero*, he thought before something hit the back of his neck. *Don't let them get us all.*  
  
********  
  
The men who escorted her down to the sub-basement were surprisingly kind. Relena laughed at herself for having the thought. These were the same men who had broken through every line of defense she had available to get to her. Her amusement died. If they had gotten to her....did that mean that Quatre and Trowa were dead? Her knees weakened.   
  
"Ms. President?", one of the young colony soldiers asked when her pace slowed down. "We really must hurry."   
  
"I'm fine", she replied. Her eyes searched the boy's for any sign of condesencion in his use of her full title. She saw none. Only the eyes of a boy placed in the middle of a war for reasons that were too great for him to comprehend. His eyes reminded her of Heero's.  
  
The door to the basement swung open and she was gently urged inside. As her eyes adjusted to the lack of light, she looked around. Colonel Geraw and the other Earth soliders who ran the base were grouped into the corner, held at gunpoint by several colonists. She caught the colonel's eye and gave him what she hoped was a reassuring smile.   
  
"He'll be here soon, Ms. President", the same young soldier informed her.   
  
Relena straightened her back. "He? Who is he?"   
  
"Me, *Miss* President." The voice behind her sent a shiver through her entire body. Slowly, she turned around.   
  
"You?", she whispered after a long minute. "Colonel Brandon?"   
  
The obsese man smiled gleefully and moved aside to let the rest of his troop in. The last two men in dragged the unconcious, bleeding bodies of Quatre and Trowa. Relying on her years of political experience, Relena managed to keep a calm face. "Colonel..", she began, praying for her voice to remain steady. "Explain all of this."   
  
Colonel Brandon made a noise of disappointment. "You're a smart girl. Don't tell me you can't put the pieces together."   
  
"You are...a colonel for the United Alliance of Earth. I am the leader of the United Alliance of Earth. You *will* explain yourself to me."   
  
All amusement was wiped from the colonel's face at her words. "I wouldn't say you're in the best position to be giving orders, little girl", he hissed. With a jerk of his head, he signaled to an unseen soldier. After a second, a third body was dragged into the room.   
  
Her mask of detachment crumbled. "Heero!", Relena cried out as the soldier dropped him practically on top of Quatre. His clothes, stained with blood, seemed to have been burned. His skin was pale. Too pale. "What the hell do you want with them?"   
  
"Ah..." The colonel smiled again. "You *are* starting to get it."   
  
Relena stared at Heero as hot tears built up in her eyes. "Why are you doing this? You're....you're a colonel...my colonel..." She closed her eyes and the tears fell. "I trusted you..."   
  
"You mean they didn't tell you?" Colonel Brandon gestured to the three former Gundam pilots. "You can't trust anyone in a war, little girl." The fat man stepped forward and kicked Heero's unconcious body. "Especially not them."  
  
********  
  
Quatre watched himself claw through the fog surrounding his mind. He heard voices. A man's and a woman's. Relena. Cold tile pressed into his cheek. Something heavy lay on his right arm. He squeezed his eyes tighter before forcing them open. He found himself staring straight at the strange lump on his arm, Heero Yuy. His old friend was frighteningly still, covered with blood and burns. Quatre painstakingly lifted his head to glance to the other side. He was startled to see a familiar pair of green eyes looking back at him.   
  
His partner didn't blink for a long moment; Quatre's heart was in his throat as he waited for that little sign of life. Finally, Trowa's eyelids lowered briefly. When he opened them again, he met Quatre's gaze and held it.   
  
Everything about Trowa's look said something to Quatre. From the black centers surrounded by forest green, he knew that Trowa was in pain, but hanging on. That he was grateful that Quatre was all right. Quatre smiled. After a moment, Trowa's eyes looked up and then back, repeating the motion several times until Quatre looked up.   
  
He saw Relena, surrounded by colony soldiers. The dim light of the room caught the shiny path of tears on her cheeks, although her posture and demenor remained that of the queen she had once been. He knew in that instant what Trowa wanted him to do. They had, after all, made a promise to themselves to protect her at any cost to their own lives.   
  
Quatre slowly brought his hand up to his head, placing it flat upon the ground as he prepared to use it to flip Heero off of him and haul himself up from the floor. Before he could, a boot landed centimeters away from his nose.   
  
"Mr. Winner...." The man who had captured them looked down sadly. "You don't really want to do anything stupid, do you? Anything that will get her killed?" He pointed to Relena with his gun.   
  
Beside him, Trowa grimaced. "Leave them alone", he managed to spit out.   
  
The colonel grabbed a handful of Trowa's long bangs, pulling him to his feet. "You're lucky I haven't killed you all yet!", he yelled. "I could have just shot you to bits. Like I did your friend."   
  
Quatre inched his body out from under Heero, wincing as the other man's body flopped lifelessly onto the ground. He raised himself onto his knees. "Our friend....?"   
  
Colonel Brandon released Trowa's hair, sending him staggering backwards. "I can see I'm going to have to explain things very slowly to you all."   
  
"He's talking about Duo", Relena whispered. "He killed Duo."   
  
"Ah, ah, ah..." The fat man shook one plump finger. "I didn't shoot the bastard down. I just arranged for someone else to do the deed."   
  
"Why?", was all Quatre could think to ask.   
  
Colonel Brandon ignored his question. "I have to say...I'm enjoying this far more than I did his death. It was too easy to kill him. He didn't even know what hit him....didn't know that he was supposed to die that day. But the rest of you...." The man grinned. "I made sure you knew someone was going to get you."   
  
"So..." Relena took a breath. "You killed Duo...and you sent them those horrible notes." She paused. "You set off the bomb on L3. You started the war...."   
  
"I always thought you were the brains behind the operation, Miss President, ma'am. Yes...I left a little gift for 05. It didn't go *exactly* the way I wanted it to, but you can't always have your way. Besides..." He laughed. "Sometimes the unexpected is far more fun than anything I could ever plan." He stepped past Quatre to prod at Heero's body with the toe of his boot. "Take, for example, 01."   
  
Relena bit her lip. "What did you do to him?"   
  
Trowa ran a bloody hand through his hair. "They kept him away from you, Relena. Didn't you see his wrist?"   
  
"His wrist?" Her eyes widened. "The tattoo..."  
  
"It has his initials", Trowa continued. "YH. They knew exactly who they had in their work camp all along."   
  
Colonel Brandon nodded happily. Like a child in a candy store. "You forget, princess, I'm a colonel for the United Alliance of Earth. A former Preventer. I'm the one who *sent* Heero Yuy to L3. What amuses me beyond belief is that wonderful case of amnesia. No fighting, no attempts to escape. Just a dead man in a living body. How could I arrange for something that perfect?" He laughed. "You could say, it was a gift from the gods."  
  
********  
  
He was lying on a beach. Half of his body was still in the surf; warm water crashed over his lower legs at regular intervals. His mouth was gritty with blood and sand. Blinking salt water from his eyes, he struggled to lift his head.   
  
She was there, in front of him. The woman he knew now was Relena. Her clothes were childish, her face young...far younger than she had ever appeared to him before. She was looking at him so strangely. Fright...curiousity...perhaps even a bit of a blush colored her cheeks.   
  
"Relena....", he heard himself whisper. But somehow, it was all in his head.   
  
"That's right, Heero."   
  
It wasn't her who spoke the words; her lips remained still as she watched him, frozen in time and space. The voice came from behind him. With every bit of his will, he rose to his knees and turned his head. The priest stood a few feet away, the ocean's surf flowing over his bare feet. His long braid rested over his right shoulder; his violet eyes were large and laughing.   
  
"Duo." The name came to him suddenly.   
  
The man's smile grew even broader. "Now that's more like it. I figured someone as stubborn as you couldn't block his own memories forever." He walked a bit closer, seeming to enjoy the sand between his toes, the water around his ankles.   
  
Heero blinked once and then again. "You're....dead."   
  
Duo made a scoffing noise. He stopped just in front of Heero. "Please....Death doesn't die. As long as you don't forget...." He cleared his throat pointedly. "....they won't have ever really gotten rid of me."   
  
He found himself smiling. "The God of Death is back from hell.....to see me?"   
  
"Don't flatter yourself, *Hee-chan*. This is all in your head, not mine." Duo stuck his hands in his pockets and looked beyond Heero to Relena's frozen figure. "How 'bout it? Ready to remember?"   
  
"Ready to remember what?"   
  
Duo gave an exaggerated sigh. "You really are thick, aren't you? Are you ready to remember her? Yourself? Me....everything!? Do you *want* to be a stranger in your own life forever?"   
  
Heero swallowed. "I don't know..."   
  
"I guess some things'll never change." Duo shook his head sadly. "You're never gonna let me help you." After a minute, he squatted down next to Heero. "It's not all good stuff, Heero. In fact, most of it is gonna be pretty damn bad. But you gotta remember it all. You owe it to her."   
  
"Why?", Heero asked, finding it hard to use his voice. "What is she to me?"  
  
"Everything." Duo stood. "As you are to her." He held out his hand. "C'mon...let me help you."   
  
Heero studied his hand for a long moment before accepting it.   
  
********  
  
"You bastard", Relena whispered. "Why? Why have you done this to them?"  
  
Colonel Brandon shook his head, condescendingly. "Oh...there's so many *reasons*, Miss President. We're at war! Didn't you tell me that?"   
  
"I also remember saying we weren't barbarians", she replied. "At least...most of us aren't."   
  
"So, I'm a barbarian now. Revenge is animalistic..." He raised his meaty shoulders in indifference. "I suppose you're right about that. People don't look too kindly on revenge nowadays. They need a real reason to kill. Like a war...."   
  
"Revenge? You started the war....to kill them?" Relena wrapped her arms around her trembling body. "What could they possibly have..."   
  
He looked at her coldly. "If you even have to finish that sentence, princess, I gave you too much credit when I said you were smart."   
  
From his spot on the floor, Quatre spoke up, quietly, but clearly. "Who was it that we killed?"   
  
The hatred in the colonel's eyes burned. "Every single one of my sons", he spat out. "You killed Matthew in outer space. 05 killed Gregory at Victoria. And 01..." He took his gun and pointed it at Heero's head. "Slaughtered Zachary and Aidan on the Libra."   
  
"It was a war." Relena's nails dug into her arms. "People die in wars....you've killed people!! You can't hold them accountable for...."   
  
"Our actions?", Quatre finished her sentence.   
  
"Quatre..." Relena slowly shook her head as new tears fell. "Please don't say that..."   
  
Colonel Brandon looked at the blond man with interest. "You've always been a mystery to me, 04. The man who kills with mercy. Tell me...." He knelt as best he could. "How did it feel when you killed my son?"   
  
Quatre lifted his head and looked the man in the eye. "You know...I honestly don't recall."   
  
The colonel's face grew dangerously red. His hand tightened around his gun as he brought it up, pressing the barrel into Quatre's blond bangs. Relena was barely concious of her body running forward.   
  
"No!!", she heard herself scream as her fists attacked the colonel's back. Two soldiers grabbed her arms, pinning them behind her back. Quatre started forward, but another solider grabbed him. Colonel Brandon hauled his mass back up and turned on the former Queen of the World. Not for the first time in her life, Relena found herself on the wrong end of a gun.  
  
"Bad girl", Colonel Brandon whispered. "Don't you know that if anything happens to me....it would only be a matter of seconds until I could have soldiers in the nursery?"   
  
Unable to keep her facade of calm, Relena felt herself slumping to the ground at the man's horrible words. The soldiers kept her halfway standing. "You wouldn't....she's nothing to do with....you couldn't..."   
  
"The illegitmate bastard of 01?" The colonel laughed heartily. "Don't tempt me. Princess."   
  
********  
  
The floor beneath him was cold. As he slowly came to, he forced his eyes open, focusing them on the scene before him. The fat one...he had the woman at gunpoint. He had Relena at gunpoint. His Relena. Rage boiled in his blood. His muscles strained as he pulled up himself up off the floor. Staggering to his feet, he glared at the man's massive back.   
  
"Leave her alone", he muttered. With reflexes and speed long forgotten, he lunged forward.   
  
Quatre spied the sudden movement out of the corner of his eye. "Heero!" He struggled against the man holding him back.   
  
With the side of his flattened palm, Heero delivered a powerful blow to the back of the Colonel's neck. The man's knees wavered; the arm holding his gun flailed. Heero took the opportunity to grab the arm, snapping it behind the Colonel's back. Wrenching the gun out of his hand, Heero brought his leg up, kicking Colonel Brandon to the floor. Before the man could recover, he found himself staring down the barrel of his own gun.   
  
Heero cocked the safety off with his thumb. His arm was steady; his glare deadly. "Omae o korusu."   
  
"Heero....no!!", Relena cried out. "Don't do it! You don't have to kill anymore...remember?"   
  
A long second passed. Quatre held his breath as he watched. Finally, the clear sound of a gun's safety being flicked back on bounced off the steel walls. Taking his finger off the trigger, Heero pointed the gun to the ceiling. "Bang", he said in dead monotone.   
  
As soon as the word was out of his mouth, the control room's doors burst open. A troop of uniformed men flooded in, weapons raised. Colonel Brandon and his guards were surrounded.   
  
Heero stepped back to allow three soldiers access to his fallen enemy. The leader of the new troop ran to Relena and looked her over. "Are you all right, Ms. President? They didn't harm you, did they?"   
  
She shook her head and struggled to find her voice. "No...I'm fine. Please....my friends..." Her arm pointed to Trowa. A solider immediately ran to the former Gundam pilot. Quatre was already by his side, wrapping a piece of his ripped shirt around his lover's thigh.   
  
Relena approached Heero and gently pried the gun from his hand. The metal was cold and heavy against the skin of her palm. She looked at it as she spoke. "You can remember."   
  
"I remember. I remember it all", he whispered. "But how did you...know? I could have killed him." He gestured to the Colonel who was being held up by the three Earth soliders.   
  
She smiled and looked up for a brief second. "I just knew." As her eyes lowered, her voice hardened. "Colonel Brandon....you are under arrest for high treason to the United Alliance of Earth, the attempted murders of Trowa Barton, Quatre Raberba Winner and Chang Wufei, conspiracy to commit the murder of Duo Maxwell and..." She wavered slightly. "The kidnapping and unlawful imprisonment of Heero Yuy." She turned to her soliders. "Please take him away."   
  
As the Colonel and his men were led out one by one, Relena felt a great weight lift off her shoulders. It was all over. And soon, the war would be too. But more importantly...he was back. Her Heero. She looked back up at him.   
  
"Relena", he said again. It was all he could think to say.   
  
Relena touched his chin. "What is your name?"   
  
A trace of smile colored his lips. "Heero."   
  
"How old are you?"   
  
He thought for a second. "Twenty...three."   
  
She pointed to Quatre, holding Trowa's hand as a medic snapped his lover's dislocated shoulder back into place. "Who are they?"   
  
He paused. "My friends."   
  
A lump rose in her throat. "You really do remember, don't you?" He nodded. "How? What happened?"   
  
Heero looked at the ceiling. "I...took one of the mobile suits." Shaking his head, he searched for the right words. "I knew how to operate it, but I still didn't know *why* I knew. I wish I could explain it better..." He stopped. "I saw him, Relena. Duo. I let him help me." He felt her questioning gaze boring into him. "I don't want to be a stranger in my own life."   
  
Relena needed no further explaination. The tears that had filled her eyes spilled over. "Heero..." She embraced him tightly. "You're not...not anymore."   
  
His arms wrapped around her. "I'm... I need to say..." He corrected himself. "I *want* to say... Gomen nasai."   
  
"For what?" Her words were muffled by his shoulder.   
  
"It's not all clear yet....everything is still hazy. But I just feel like...I hurt you again. I promised I wouldn't leave you. And I did." He swallowed heavily. "I took advantage of....I mean, I...when I...last night..."   
  
She smiled softly. "I seem to recall there being two of us there, Heero. And nothing happened that I didn't want."   
  
One hand idly stroked her back. "I don't deserve you. After everything..."   
  
Relena shook her head as she lifted it from his body. "You're here. You can remember. That's all that matters to me now." A silent moment passed. "Heero....there's someone I want....I want you to meet."   
  
*********  
  
Heero Yuy approached the crib with more caution than he could ever remember have used in his entire life. His heart pounded in his chest cavity; a trickle of sweat ran down his neck, disappearing into his collar. He swallowed back fear with the thought that, as far as he could remember, no near-suicide mission had ever worked him up like this.   
  
But then, no mission had ever been as *vital* as this.   
  
He stopped a foot away from the crib and looked down. Sitting upright admist baby pink flannel and white eyelet lace was a perfect little person. A miniscule child with his hair and Relena's eyes. His daughter.   
  
Adia gazed up at him with a wide stare. Clouded blue met crystal blue. Suddenly, her tiny, chubby arms lifted towards her father, asking to be held. He didn't move. She was so small; he was afraid that by touching her, he might somehow hurt her.   
  
Heero felt Relena come up behind him. "She won't break, Heero."   
  
"Hai...hai. Zya...", he whispered. Wiping his clammy hands on his jeans, he leaned into the crib, catching his daughter under the arms to lift her out. Holding her at arm's length, he stared at her for a long moment. "What is her name?"   
  
Relena bit her lip to keep from crying. "Adia", she managed to reply. "Adia Marie."   
  
"Adia Marie", he repeated. On some sort of instinct, he pulled his arms back towards his chest, holding the baby to his body. "And she's mine. She's really and truly mine?" He paused. "Ours?"   
  
"She's ours." Relena's voice cracked under the weight of her emotions. "Really and truly."  
  
Heero looked down at the little girl. "She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."   
  
Relena rested her head on Heero's shoulder as she touched a curl of Adia's hair. The baby cooed, perfectly content with both her parents. "She's been waiting for you." She turned her face into Heero's arm, wetting his shirt with her tears. "I've been waiting for you."   
  
Heero lowered his head and closed his eyes. "No more waiting." His lips touched Adia's curls. "No more leaving." He kissed Relena's forehead.   
  
A chuckle tore through Relena's throat. "So...what else is there to us besides waiting and leaving?"   
  
His free hand lifted her chin. "I told you once that I would tell you...how I felt about you." He took a breath. "Relena, I..."   
  
She cut him off with a finger to his lips. "You don't have to say it, Heero. I know."   
  
Heero sighed. "You...you are almost as frustrating as that American baka." Transferring Adia to one arm, he cupped Relena's face with his hand. "It has taken me nearly an entire decade to be able to say this to you. Nothing and no one can stop me." Heero cleared his throat. "Relena, I love...."   
  
Just then, the nursery door flew open. Millardo stood in the frame, chest heaving, cheeks pink with exertion. He double blinked as he took in the sight before him. "Yuy?", he asked. He looked at his sister incredously.   
  
Noin appeared beside him, a small, blond boy in either arm. "Heero?", she whispered. "Oh my God...Heero!"   
  
Quatre's voice could be heard behind Millardo's little family. "Is Heero in there? Adia's in there."   
  
A large smile spread on Noin's lovely face. She moved to the side. "See for yourself."   
  
Millardo blinked again. "What the hell is going on?"   
  
"I think it's fairly obvious, dear", Noin murmured into her husband's ear.   
  
"Perhaps we should give them some time alone." Trowa, eternally calm.  
  
"Are you kidding, love?" Quatre squeezed his slender body between his lover and Noin's children to see into the room. "I would pay good money to see this."   
  
"We heard over the wire that the entire house was being held hostage. We get back just as it's all over...and now...this...?" Millardo made a fumbling gesture towards Heero.   
  
Noin sighed and thrust one baby into his father's arms. "Here, darling. Keep yourself busy."   
  
Suddenly, Heero began to laugh. The four adults and two children in the doorway to the nursery stared at him. His daughter in his arms stared at him. And Relena, ever at his side, stared at him. He continued to laugh.   
  
"What's wrong?", Relena finally asked.   
  
Heero shook his head. "Daizyoobu desu." He laughed again. "Nothing's wrong." His amused gaze settled back onto Relena. His fingers ran through her hair. "My little sparrow."   
  
Her brow crinkled. "Heero? Are you sure you're all right? You might have hit your head pretty hard...."   
  
"Want to know something? I think...I might actually be...happy", he told her in a confidential tone. As though he were sharing some great secret meant only for his own little family.  
  
Relena's worried expression melted into one of complete joy. Raising her chin, she gave him a thorough kiss. "Welcome home, Heero."   
  
********  
  
I think about the years I spent,  
Just passing through.  
I'd like to take the time I lost   
And give it back to you.  
But you just smile and take my hand,  
You've been there; you understand.  
It's all part of a grander plan,  
That is coming true.   
  
Every long lost dream, led me to where you are.  
Others who broke my heart; they were just northern stars.  
Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms.  
This much I know is true:  
God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you. 


	4. Broken Road: Epilogue

Broken Road: Epilogue  
by Kristen Elizabeth  
  
********  
  
AC 248  
Earth  
  
"Mr. Yuy? Mr. Yuy..." Joanne Samson, RN leaned over her patient. "Mr. Yuy...are you awake?"   
  
The old man snorted, but didn't open his eyes. "Don't you mean, 'are you still breathing'?"   
  
His private nurse's face relaxed. "Now there's the patient I know and love." He made a scoffing noise in the back of his throat, his signal of amusement. "So...are you just going to lie there, pretending to be asleep or are you going to sit up and talk to your guests?"   
  
"Kyaku ka? Who the hell is it?"   
  
Joanne sighed and reached under Heero Yuy's head, to fluff his pillow. "I believe it's common courtesy to *not* curse when greeting people you sent for."   
  
Heero's aged eyes still twinkled Prussian blue. "And when have you known me to be courteous, Jo-san?"   
  
"You've got me there." She laughed as she helped him sit up straighter. "It's your daughter and her family."   
  
"Adia ka?" He sat up even straighter.   
  
Joanne nodded. "Should I send them in?"   
  
"Tyotto...just Adia for now." His nurse disappeared into the hallway, returning a moment later with a tall, slender woman behind her.   
  
"Dad!" Adia's smooth voice was like music to his ears. Brushing past Joanne, she ran to the huge bed where her father lay. The bed he and her mother had shared for so many years. As though she were four years old, instead of forty-six, she flung herself onto it, burying her face in her father's shoulder. "Dad."   
  
With all the strength he could muster, he wrapped his arms around his daughter's shoulders. "Aka-chan", he whispered into her ear. "You came."   
  
There were tears in her bright blue eyes as she pulled back. "Of course I did!" Her tone was indignant. "Really, Dad...sometimes I think you think I'm eighteen again."   
  
"Nani? You aren't?" He touched her cheek. "Could have fooled me."   
  
"Flattery will get you everywhere." Adia grinned. "I brought your grandkids."   
  
Heero looked over her shoulder. "So I heard." A scowl settled onto his brow. "And that man they call 'father'."  
  
Adia rolled her eyes childishly. "When we reached our fifteen year anniversary, I thought you might actually start calling my husband by his name, Dad. Are we going to have to make it to twenty before you do?"   
  
"Aka-chan..." He paused. "I'm not going to be around for that. Honto yo."   
  
The mood had instantly plummeted. "Don't say that", she said softly. "Please?"   
  
He ignored her request. "I don't suppose that brother of yours is planning on making an appearance."   
  
"You know Max would if he could, Dad. But he's on Mars for another two months."   
  
Heero nodded. "I know. And that's good....I suppose."   
  
Adia face lifted. "Have you spoken to him?"   
  
"Two days ago."   
  
"Two days ago was...." Adia stopped.   
  
Her father glared up at her. "You can say it, Aka-chan."   
  
"Why, Dad? It only makes it hurt all over again."   
  
Heero's glare relaxed as he gazed out the window. "You don't have to tell me that."   
  
"I'm sorry, Otou-san."   
  
The use of her childhood nickname for him sent a lump rising in his throat. "What are you sorry for, Aka-chan?" His tone was gentler. "Did you have anything to do with the cancer in your mother's body?"   
  
Adia lowered her head. "No."  
  
"Zya...no more of that sorry business. Wakatta ne?"   
  
"I understand", his daughter replied. "I just...miss her."   
  
There was a long pause. "Hai. Soo."   
  
"What did you think of this year's memorial service?", Adia asked.   
  
Heero's scowl settled back onto his deeply wrinkled face. "Sentimental sap", he muttered. "Tsumaranakatta."   
  
Ignoring his Japanese, she continued. "You know, they wanted me to speak at the service. Bugged me for weeks until I finally asked, rather pointedly, if they were planning on reopening the wounds of Mom's death every year or just the first two. They stopped calling after that."   
  
"You and me, Aka-chan. We don't do sentiment."   
  
"When I talked to Max last night, he sounded angry at me." Adia bit her lower lip. "Did he say anything to you?"   
  
Her father shook his greying head. "Your brother is just like your mother. He can't say a bad thing about *anyone*, let alone his older sister."   
  
Adia seemed satisfied by this. A moment of comfortable silence passed.   
  
Heero eventually broke it. "I need to ask you something, Aka-chan."   
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I'm probably not going to be around much longer", he continued. Adia opened her mouth to protest, but he held up one weathered hand. "Don't look at me that way, Adia Marie. You know it as well as I do, ne?"   
  
"Otou-san..."  
  
He pressed on. "The nihongo word for 'the god of death' is 'Shinigami'. I can feel him getting closer every day, Aka-chan."   
  
"Shinigami...", Adia puzzled. "Didn't you used to call Max that?"   
  
"Only when the baka started braiding his hair."   
  
Adia laughed. "He was going through a phase. He cut it off after a few years." She thought she heard her father mutter something about a namesake, but there was too much interspersed Japanese for her completely understand.   
  
After a moment, he relaxed. "This isn't why I wanted to see you alone."   
  
"Then why...?"   
  
Her father was quiet for a long time, seemingly choosing his words. "I need to know something." He paused before opening his mouth. He shut it quickly, attempting to speak again a moment later. "Did you...iya, iya." He tried again. "Was I....was I a good father, Aka-chan?"  
  
The question floored his daughter. Her mouth dropped open. "Were you a good...?"   
  
"I need to know. Ima yo."   
  
Adia stood up from the bed and walked a few paces. Memories hit her from every side. Her father helping her learn to read, ride a bicycle, load and fire a pistol. Family picnics on the beach with Uncle Millardo, Aunt Noin and the twins. Her father giving Miss Hilde away when she remarried thirty-five years earlier.   
  
She swallowed heavily. Her father's reluctance to talk about his past. The periods of withdrawal always followed by long periods of balancing happiness. The way her parents would look at each other and then look at her and Max with such love and almost a sense of relief. A shiver ran down her spine.   
  
Heero took her silence as long as he could. "That bad, ne?"   
  
"No", she replied emphatically. "Iie." In his native tongue, to better assert her answer. "Otou-san..." She sat back on the edge of the bed. "You were....you *are* the best father anyone could ask for."   
  
He stared at her for a long moment before looking away. "I asked Maxwell the same question; he gave pretty much the same answer." His aged fingers worked at the covers unconciously. "But for some reason, Aka-chan, your answer is even more important."   
  
"Why? Why mine?"   
  
Another moment passed. "I was there, in the delivery room, holding your mother's hand when your brother was born. I brought him home from the hospital. I helped feed and change him. I watched him take his first steps." He closed his eyes. "I didn't...get to do *any* of that when you were born, Aka-chan."   
  
"Otou-san." The word hung on her lips. "It wasn't your fault." She smiled. "All right...maybe I resented it a little whenever I was being punished as a child or didn't get my way or something like that. But I've never, ever doubted that you cared about me, Dad. In the same way you care about Max." Adia bent down and kissed her father's cheek.   
  
Heero bit his tongue, tasting his tired blood. "You know, Aka-chan? You're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."   
  
A tear slipped down her cheek. "What about Mom?", she teased.   
  
"Your Okaa-san..." Heero shook his head. "I still haven't found a word in any language that comes close to describing your mother."   
  
Closing her crystal blue eyes, Adia lay down next to her father, her nose squashed against the sleeve of his nightshirt. "I love you, Otou-san."   
  
He was a long time in replying, but eventually, he did. "Ai shiteru, Aka-chan."   
  
*********  
  
"Good morning, Nurse Samson."   
  
"Mr. Barton...hello!" The uniform clad woman's greeting was as warm as the situation called for. "Thanks for coming so quickly. He's been asking for you."   
  
Trowa Barton lowered his gaze to the thick oriental carpet covering the study that lay just outside the master bedroom. It was a place he had spent many hours in, with his old friends. "How is he?", he asked quietly.   
  
Joanne sighed. "Honestly...it's only a matter of days. He's still pretty coherent, but expect to hear a lot of Japanese. He seems to speak less English every day. I've been exhausting my translator trying to figure out what the heck he's been asking me to do for him." The lightness in her voice was weighted by the situation.   
  
"He did that when Relena died, too", Trowa commented.   
  
She nodded. "I remember. Well...go on in. You know he doesn't like to wait."   
  
Trowa managed a small smile. The woman had been Heero's nurse for the two years since Relena's death and had been Relena's nurse during the last year of her life. Yet, for all that, she really didn't know her patient all that well. Heero Yuy could out wait anyone.   
  
He entered the room as quietly as possible, but he need not have taken such care. Heero was wide awake, sitting up in bed.   
  
"Trowa."   
  
"Heero."   
  
"You look like hell, hurui tomodachi. Yoku nai desu."   
  
"Look who's talking." He pulled up a chair and sat next to the bed.  
  
The men lapsed into a familiar, comfortable lull.   
  
"I put flowers on Relena's grave when I went to visit Quatre the other day", Trowa said, eventually.   
  
"Arigatou", Heero replied. "I wish I could go see them both one last time."   
  
Trowa shrugged. "They're just graves. Memories don't lie six feet under the ground."   
  
"Honto desu ne", Heero agreed. "They're all around. Every time I go into that bathroom, I see something of Relena's that someone has forgotten to get rid of. Ribbons, hairpins..." He looked down at his hands.   
  
"Same thing happens when I go into mine. And it's been eight years since Quatre died."   
  
Heero's eyes managed to twinkle. "You find ribbons and hairpins?"  
  
"Very funny." Trowa shook his head, good-naturedly. "Razor blades and aftershave."   
  
"Ii desu yo." There was silence for another minute. "Any regrets, old friend?"   
  
Trowa scratched his chin. "About Quatre?"   
  
"Jumyo desu. Life in general."   
  
"Plenty, before I met him. Afterwards..." He paused. "No."   
  
Heero shifted slightly. "Watashi ga wakarimasu."   
  
"Speak English, Yuy. You know I can't understand a damn word you're saying."   
  
"I like it that way, baka."   
  
"Now *that* I understood."   
  
The Japanese man gave a short laugh that ended in a wheeze. The half formed smile quickly fell from his dry lips. "I do have one regret. Jitsu wa....it's more of a complaint, really.  
  
"What's that?"   
  
"Here we are, Trowa. Old men. Hurui...aged....decrepit. However you want to say it." He took a breath. "But you know something that's been bothering me for the past few weeks?"  
  
"You let something bother you?"  
  
He went ignored. "That braided American baka. He went and died when he was...what? Twenty, twenty-one? Tiigaku nai desu ka?"   
  
"Twenty-one", Trowa confirmed. "Your point...?"   
  
Heero attempted to sit up even more. "Sore de....he'll always be twenty-one, Trowa. He'll always be young and healthy. Wakai."   
  
"I think you're thinking way too much about this." Trowa shook his head in amusement. "What about Wufei? He was only...."   
  
"Fifty-five", Heero supplied. "Hurui desu."   
  
"So what? Sure, Duo looks good in memory. But think of all the things he never got to do that we did. We lived our lives, Heero. With the people we loved. He didn't get to." Heero nodded, non-commitally. "Of course", Trowa continued. "We are talking about Duo. He did manage to put a lot of life into those twenty-one years."   
  
"That he did."   
  
Silence again blanketed the room, broken by Trowa. "You know...when you go, I'll be the last one."   
  
"Hai", the other man agreed.   
  
Trowa let himself smile. For all the mellowing Heero had done in 45 years, he still had no compuctions about telling the whole truth, no matter how harsh it might be. "Don't worry, friend. I won't be that much longer."   
  
"End of an era."   
  
"No. The era died a long time ago. With Duo."   
  
"Soo desu." Heero closed his eyes. Suddenly, he felt so very tired. "Soo desu ne... Still, no regrets?"  
  
"None. We live, we die..."  
  
"We live again."   
  
"Perhaps."   
  
"We'll find out soon. Ne?"  
  
"That we will."   
  
*********  
  
"Is...comfortable?"   
  
"...as possible. I gave....to help him sleep."   
  
"I...see him."  
  
"That....not be....good idea.....doesn't recognize...."  
  
"I see."   
  
"....sorry."   
  
The hushed conversation outside the bedroom doors continued, but Heero Yuy was no longer trying to pay attention. He was long past the need to know anything. The details seemed unimportant; only the big picture was clear. He was dying.   
  
Death was certainly not something he feared. Too often in his early years, he had asked for it. Wanted it to wrap him up and take him away. For the good of the people around him. For the good of the cause. This time, he selfishly wanted it for himself. Whatever lay on the other side....a heaven, a hell, another life...she would be there, waiting for him. Of that, he was certain.   
  
*You hit me.*  
  
*You're damn right I hit you. Do you think you get to just walk right out of here like that?*   
  
*Are you telling me you want me to stay?*  
  
Heero fought to draw breath as the memory faded. "Relena." She was there, all around him. As though she had never left him.   
  
*I couldn't find you...you left and I couldn't find you. You left. You always leave!! Why do you always leave me?*  
  
"I didn't, Relena", he whispered dryly. "This time...you left me."   
  
*You...get to me....*   
  
Heero looked up at the bed's canopy. White lace...blinding white.... He slowly slipped into it, closing his eyes for the last time.   
  
"I love you, Relena."   
  
*********  
  
"The world lost a hero yesterday. At 8:55 PM, Heero Yuy, former Preventer, Chief Security Officer for the Peacecraft Administration and military activist, died in his home at the age of 68 from heart failure. He is survived by his daughter, Adia Yuy-Daniels, age 46, of Earth and his son, Maxwell Yuy, age 41, of Mars. He will be buried in Restfield Cemetery beside his wife of 43 years, Relena Peacecraft-Yuy, the late Ambassador of Earth, former President of the United Alliance of Earth and Queen of the World. A memorial service will be held at the gravesite. In other news tonight..."   
  
*********  
  
"Now I'm just rolling home,   
Into my lover's arms.  
This much I know is true.  
God blessed the broken road, that led me straight to you." 


End file.
